What a mess! To start, the box is an unspeakable eyesore. Once the video starts, the one-name cast in the credits bears no resemblance to the one-name cast listed on the box, not that you've heard of any of them anyway. The director's name appears to have been videotaped over to make way for the Hollywood Sales logo; so much for the old auteur theory. And the French dialogue is neither dubbed nor subtitled, leaving viewers to wonder why on earth three cute guys like Reno, Marco and Tino are putting out for a creepy geek like Commandant Kouchtot (vulgar French for "fast-fuck," or quickie).

The commandant is hardly a turn-on, with his shaggy hair under a backward cap, his absurd dog collar, and a peculiar leather mask reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter's. He ain't pretty. But Reno, Marco and Tino are, which is the only reason this wretched video gets even one lousy A.