"Tattooed Tools,” the latest off the long assembly line of unremarkable Euro-porn, is at its best when it’s not trying to be. And, yes, although a few of the guys are branded with tats, don’t slip this into your DVD player anticipating a celebration of steamy skin art. The five disparate scenes mostly seem like a collection of reassembled scenes, scooped from off the cutting room floor. The transitions between scenes are sketchy and ambiguous. But this patchwork fuck flick does have some unexpected sizzle points models licking up their own sticky loads, go-go boys seducing the clientele, and tearoom high jinks which take place over a filthy toilet bowl. Fred Fele is the fuzzy standout, dominating his scene partners during a bar-top threeway.

RETAILING: This has some European favorites, some fresh faces, and a modicum of kink. Place with other European offerings.