Foreign-language youth-movie is like one of those contests where you’re supposed to invent captions for cartoons. Your brain keeps trying to guess what the very talkative models are saying. Why, in an empty bar, does a blond twink entertain the high-cheekboned bartender by stripping without music, then dildo himself? Cheekbones is so turned-on, he fingers and dildos the dancer open wide enough to fuck on some World War II-looking furniture. Why do a slender brunet and a big, swishy blond who kiss beside a river while a barge glides by run to an underpass for exactly one kiss before suddenly they’re fingerfucking each other like crazy in a kitchen? Blond’s hole gets as loose as an old rubber-band, and apparently great for fucking, judging from Brunet’s happy humping. What does the sign on the restaurant door say that has a blond who could be Matthew McConaughey’s younger brother talking to himself for so long before he’s let in by a grinning brunet for whom he strips, dildos, and bends down doggie style? Is a handsome brunet lost in the snowy woods or is the blond he cellphones just late? Brunet dildos himself, they rim and dildo each other, and then flip-fuck athletically.

RETAILING: Four OK foreign-language youth-fucks, one a flip.