On the steps of Columbia University, a befuddled freshman is having problems learning Spanish. Some upperclassmen suggest that he get to know the culture better and the language will follow. They relay some valuable cramming tips from their past. Spade gets some salsa lessons from Dagger who then aims his deadly weapon at Spade, who eagerly devours it with both his mouth and ass. Spade's roommate gets a VCR from the electronics store so Spade can watch some "learning Spanish" videos. Superhunk Reynaldo De Leon hooks up the VCR in the bedroom and tests it out on a porn tape he happens to find in the room. Reynaldo is the possessor of an enormous uncut cock, a flawless round ass, a gorgeous face and a perfect caramel-colored body holding it all together. He delivers one hot screen solo before he rushes back to work.

Playing a version of strip dominoes, erotic poetry and a private tutor who identifies body parts are a few other novel methods for increasing one's proficiency in a foreign tongue. And don't underestimate the power of food as both a learning tool and an aphrodisiac. Big Ben whips up a tasty salpicón in a finale scene that should be appropriated by the Food Channel as a new Latino Fan Club nude cooking show. By the end everyone is speaking Spanish like they had been doing so all their lives. One can only wonder why all these hunky uncut Puerto Ricans had to go to college to learn their native tongue.