CHATSWORTH, Calif. — When news of Bernard Madoff's sweeping financial fraud hit his investors late last year, their lives were no doubt shattered as their fortunes and dreams were lost virtually overnight.
At a time when this one man's overwhelming greed has undoubtedly made his victims consider suicide, one caring and concerned pornographer has stepped in to help improve their spirits.
Brandon Iron Productions, in conjunction with JM Productions, has pledged to a free copy of She Is Half My Age 7 to anyone who suffered financial losses in Madoff's evil Ponzi scheme.
Nothing hurts more than losing the billions of dollars your parents worked their entire lives to leave to you, or the money donated to your 'not for profit charity' by other hard-working rich people.
Brandon Iron understands that it's enough to drive some people to violent acts of retribution against Madoff (who, under numerous threats, had to wear a bullet-proof vest to his court appearances) and his greedy family members.
"But don’t get mad, get off," urges the thoughtful pornographer. "And do it the right way, with your hand, to a quality FREE movie!"
In addition to the super-rich, the Madoff swindle hurt many of the less fortunate 'working rich.' Mortgages have thus been foreclosed, and college funds have been drained.
While these victims can take comfort in the fact that Madoff has moved from a literal big house on Manhattan's Upper East Side to the figurative 'Big House' — where he is hopefully being sodomized daily — it probably doesn't fully compensate them for their impending homelessness.
"But it's my hope that these poor bastards will at least receive momentary pleasure when they blow their loads to me and my friends fucking young women the same age as their now destitute daughters," explains Brandon. "And I guess the twisted irony is now that their trust funds are empty, I'm sure we'll be dumping our sperm in the mouths of their daughters in future volumes of the She Is Half My Age series. It's just another example of the cruelty of Madoff's scheme."
To receive their free DVD, Madoff victims simply must send a copy of a financial statement or letter confirming the swindle, along with their name, age and address (provided they still have one and are not living under a bridge) via e-mail to [email protected].
"This is a real offer," said Brandon. "I know that jacking off to young whores will make these people feel better. I know that fucking them certainly made me feel pretty good."
Brandon Iron's She Is Half My Age 7 features the young mouths, assholes and vaginas of Nicole Ray, Chastity Lynn, Mary Jane, Jenny, Aza Haze, Isis Taylor and Haley. She Is Half My Age 8 hits the streets April 20 and will hopefully star the daughters of Madoff victims.
Distributors can order now by contacting JM Productions at (800) 550-3659. Those who are not Madoff victims can acquire Brandon Iron’s DVDs at Jerkoffzone.com.
All models were at least 18 years old at the time of their performance. 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement.
