SpaceXXX: VRBangers Eyes Mars

LOS ANGELES—VR Bangers, one of the first adult sites to produce virtual reality adult movies in full 360 degrees, has announced its newest initiative, SpaceXXX, has been officially launched.

This April 1st marks VRBangers' first attempt to enter the space industry. In the pursuit of being revolutionary, VR Bangers have decided to launch a manned rocket towards Mars, with a mannequin wearing a VR headset preloaded with their exclusive VR adult movies on board. According to VRBangers, this is the biggest project in the history of the company.

“I have spent my entire life making people dreams come true by producing adult videos in virtual reality, and I did not know anything about space or rockets a few years ago," said Daniel Abramovich, the CEO of VR Bangers. "Now VR Bangers have built their very own rocket and we are ready to reach the final frontier together with our investors. Maybe we are not sending a car to Mars, like our competition, but instead we have launched a human-like mannequin, wearing some of the high-tech VR goggles preloaded with our VR adult movies. This is a clear message in the very first interplanetary journey of mankind—‘make love, not war’ has always been the motto of our company.”

A project of this size is associated with enormous costs, but, thankfully, VR Bangers have managed to find some sponsors and investors, effectively convincing them that there are some better things to be sent towards the red planet than a hybrid car. Their biggest competition, the SpaceX initiative, founded by the Elon Musk’s Tesla company, motivated the producers to start their own project, thus bringing SpaceXXX to existence.  

“It is actually hard to count how many unsuccessful attempts we had,” Abramovich explained. “In such an enormous project, everything matters, really. We had to hire a lot of new employees and cooperate with engineers from all around the world to make this dream of ours come true. There was a moment that we were running out of funds, but thankfully we have managed to find some generous investors, who share our ideals when it comes to space travels and technological development in general. Our rocket called αBANGER 69 is a top-notch piece of machinery equipped with some newest tech solutions from laboratories from all around the world.”

VR Bangers’ rocket is "a two-stage vessel driven by a mixture of convertible oxygen and distilled petrol with a total thrust force of 4.94 MN is capable of leaving the Earth’s atmosphere and coming back to it, potentially being capable of running both manned and unmanned interplanetary missions." The company has tried to launch the shuttle 68 times now, yet since their recent studies are at last fully positive, the whole project had received a green light and the αBANGER was finally ready to start.

“We know that the SpaceX project has been launched weeks ago, but we presume that we will be able to catch up on it,” the CEO added. “The fact that we use the latest technology known to humanity, and the SpaceX design was completed few years back, when it was not yet available, speaks in our favor. We strongly believe that we are capable of outdoing our competition, and we are really counting on it. We have all been working really hard on the SpaceXXX project, and we can’t wait to finally prove both to ourselves and the whole world that we are capable of doing more than just producing the high quality virtual reality adult movies. Since I consider number 69 my lucky charm, no wonder that this attempt was at last successful.”

The rocket has been launched today from the cosmodrome at Cape Canaveral in the USA. Due to high costs and the technological advancement of the whole project, most of it has remained a mystery so far. Now, when it has finally been officially promulgated, the whole mystique is gone for good, and everyone interested in the initiative can watch the live footage from the mannequin available on the SpaceXXX’s website at vrbangers.com/spacexxx.