LOS ANGELES—Offensive Crayons, the colorful adults-only box of writing tools with obscenely off-color names, has just launched its first-ever Color Naming Contest and is taking submissions now here.
Offensive Crayons is aimed at wildly artistic folks with a healthy sense of humor, and they're a creation of the twisted mind of ‘Two Girls One Mic: The Porncast’ podcast co-host and producer Alice Vaughn, who launched the product after a successful Kickstarter campaign in 2017.
To kick off the upcoming release of its Porn/Sex coloring box assortment, Offensive Crayons is on the hunt for the most tasteless but clever captions to stake claim on a crayon color. The winning entrant will receive a cash prize of $500, and their winning color name prominently displayed in the pack.
“We have received many perfectly inappropriate and objectionable suggestions over the years, and apparently we’re quite hard to impress,” said Offensive Crayons founder Alice Vaughn. “We’ve got $500 on the line for a really good color name, so don’t let us down!”
Vaughn said that Color Naming Contest entries should be witty and follow the Porn/Sex theme, with the joke or phrase fairly obvious “to even the dumbest person you know,” and to steer clear of the timely/topical. “We’re looking for the classics—crass and politically incorrect captions that will stand the test of time.”
The adults-only crayons, which currently carry gloriously obscene names such as Statutory Grape, Golden Shower Goldenrod and Travel Ban Brown, were developed in 2017 as a natural accompaniment to the wildly-popular adult coloring books currently selling by the millions worldwide.
The Offensive Crayons Color Naming Contest ends September 1, and the winner will be announced shortly thereafter. Those interested may check out OffensiveCrayons.com to find out more about the 24-pack box of crayons, which also come in a Holiday Edition, political Red White and F*ck You Edition and the upcoming Porn/Sex Edition, to be released later in 2019.
