TALLAHASSEE, Fla.—Sex educator and Sexual Essentials founder Samia Burton is offering advice to those who want to try a threesome but don't know where to begin.
Burton, who offers online crash courses on the subject at Patreon.com/sexualessentials, answers questions about the most ethical way to approach a three-way with others, the best way to initiate consent from all parties, and how singles who want to meet a couple for three-way fun can connect other than through apps and sex parties.
“People enjoy threesomes simply for the same reason that they enjoy sex with one person," Burton said. "Just imagine it doubled when you add an extra person or couple to your mix. More kisses, more cuddles and more consent! Threesomes don’t have to be for everyone, but like any other sexual act, as long as its consensual, then it can be perfectly healthy for those that would like to add it to their sex lives.”
Burton’s guidelines include defining why someone wants a threesome—whether it’s for sexual exploration, curiosity, fulfilling a long-held fantasy or crossing it off a "bucket list."
“Being on the same page is important as well as understanding that a threesome is not a ‘gift’ or a reward," she said. "Your sexuality is not something to dangle.”
She says that recognizing potential red flags to protect the outcome of the situation is vital to make sure everyone is on the same page; establishing boundaries beforehand is also important. “Whether in a couple or by yourself, make sure you know your limitations beforehand to keep the experience fun and enjoyable for everyone,” she advised.
Burton further recommends testing out flirting and getting comfortable with others to gauge situations before taking the leap, and focusing on a positive outcome by mentally preparing for the work of creating an intense, pleasurable situation for everyone involved. As for finding a third party, she noted, “People are more open than you think, and remember it’s not a crime to approach someone—if they seem interested, go for it and if not, simply go on your way.”
She also stressed safety and consent: “Volunteer safety parameters such as offering your address or asking them what location makes them most comfortable. I suggest everyone ask upfront about boundaries ... if you’re asking someone to spend the evening with you, then SAY THAT! Be clear each part of your night deserves consent, so get used to asking sexy questions; a yes to join you for the night is NOT a yes to sex. Clarity is sexy! Consent is SEXY!”
Sexual Essentials is an online community dedicated to helping people understand and embrace their sexuality, body and desires with the goal of giving them the tools to create a consistently fulfilling sex life. To learn more about the art of the threesome, visit SexualEssentials.com, and email Burton at Booking@thesexualessentials.
