Automoblow Allows Tesla Drivers to Let Their Eyes and More Wander

SEATTLE—Male Tesla owners will soon face a new option after engaging Autopilot: whether or not to pleasure themselves. The Automoblow is a mount that allows Tesla owners to connect the Autoblow A.I. to any Tesla model’s cup holder to be used while self-driving. The Automoblow is vertically and horizontally adjustable to accommodate all body types and rotates 180 degrees so that it may also be used by the front seat passenger. This short commercial shows the Automoblow in action.
With the launch of the Automoblow, people will, for the first time, have the option to masturbate on the way to important meetings and before or after stressful events. Long road trips need no longer be monotonous.
Automoblow inventor Brian Sloan said, “I know some people will tell me that this invention is unnecessary, but I believe those same people, had they been born earlier, would have been late adopters of electricity and the automobile. Artificial intelligence, as it is used in self driving cars and even in our male sex toy, frees humans from mundane tasks and allows us to spend our time in more productive ways or in leisure. As self-gratification is a popular leisure activity and controlling a car is not particularly enjoyable, it is self-evident that many men will choose to buy an Automoblow.”