Tiger Woods Apologizes to Everyone—Except ...

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla.—Multi-award-winning golfer and serial adulterer Tiger Woods gave today what has been described as a "carefully stage-managed" apology to the American public for his having cheated on wife Elin Nordegren with multiple mistresses, including porn stars Holly Sampson and Joslyn James.

"I want to say to each of you simply and directly: I am deeply sorry for the irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in," Woods told a small crowd of spectators, including just three news reporters, at the Sawgrass Country Club. "I was unfaithful, I had affairs, I cheated ... I have let you down. I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. For those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally."

Woods mentioned that he had spent 45 days in therapy for his alleged "sex addiction," describing his unfaithfulness with more than a dozen mistresses as "wrong" and "foolish."

"I don't get to play by different rules," he confessed. "The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself, I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation and kids all around the world who admired me."

But the one group he never got around to apologizing to was the one that fed the controversy in the first place: his mistresses. And at least one of them didn't take the apparently intentional slight well at all.

"I have had to deal with a lot, and too much from him, and because of him," James said at a press conference in Los Angeles shortly after Woods' speech. " He knows I was very straight and honest with him, but for a long time he lied to me."

"Tiger pursued me, and over time, and I fell in love with him, and he told me he loved me too," she added.

"Veronica has made tremendous sacrifices for him," explained James' attorney, Gloria Allred. "She gave up the porn business at his request and went into hiding when the scandal broke in order to protect him, but to date he has not contacted her to apologize."

James was in tears at times during the press conference, notably when she was relating her accusation that Woods had unprotected sex with her several times, two of which encounters resulted in her becoming pregnant. She has told various media that the first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and the second in an abortion, neither of which did she inform Woods about.

"I would be open to a telephone apology from Tiger," she said, "but I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person face to face, in his eyes, because I didn't deserve this."

Photo of Joslyn James from Big Breasted Nurses, released by 818XXX.