Sex at 350RPM: The F***ing Machine Ain't No Mechanical Bull

1977's sensational film Demon Seed, adapted from Dean Koontz's book, is about a supercomputer becoming self-aware and infiltrating the world of conscious beings by raping the wife of its creator. It's my suspicion that the creators of were scarred as deeply as I was by Demon Seed. However, CyberNet Entertainment CEO Peter Rogers gives the credit to a guy named Ernest Greene.

"Probably about 18 months ago or so now was when my cousin sent me a clip of a machine, er, doing a woman, essentially." Rogers found this "incredibly erotic," and figured it would make a great basis for a Website.

"The machine that set us apart was The Intruder," he says. "I got a local machinist to put [it] together, essentially like the one I'd been sent the email about. I'm trying to track down if they still make it - there's a guy called Ernest Greene. I think it's his machine that originally inspired the whole thing."

Vice President of Marketing Tony Pirelli chimes in: "Yesterday, one of our [site] members sent me a bag of material he found in his attic. One of the things he sent me was a video of - I brought it home and looked at it yesterday, and Peter, you'd be interested in this - the email clip your cousin sent you over a year ago? That video. I just saw it last night."

Rogers and Pirelli are the manpower behind Fucking Machines (the original, and the more carefully edited "Sex at 350RPM... (literally)!"

If you're still not sure what's so special about the content behind the Website's obligatory 21-or-over front door, get a load of this: It's "The only hard fucking site where you don't have to put up with some guy's hairy ass in the line of view."

No wonder's Katharine Mieszkowski pricked up her ears (!). The article, "BattleBots in the Bedroom," hit cyberspace around February, with the irresistible opening, "In a San Francisco loft, a guy who gives his porn name as 'Tony Pirelli' brandishes a buzzing power drill with a huge dildo twisting on the end. The Drilldo's technical specs: 18 volts of power producing as many as 1,400 revolutions per minute.

"Gesturing with this tool of titillation - or torture - Pirelli explains, 'Some girls really need a good, solid performance.'"

Hear hear.

The article editorializes from this point on; or rather, down - down, down, down where the morbid curiosities belong. "Unfortunately," Pirelli's pragmatic enough to pith, not phased in the slightest by preaching, all press being good press. "I can't say that our membership increased in any significant way after that article was published," he says.

CyberNet Entertainment produces exclusive content under the titles, Fu[c],,, and These are some of the Web's most interesting fetish sites, with content that can be found nowhere else.

Pirelli - his real name - not only markets the site, he directs for it, too. "I'm not really a lifestyler, but I have a very picky eye about porn. It's just so boring, [usually]. Slow and sterile. So what we're trying to do here is to put together action-packed erotic scenes."

Of his experience, Rogers says, "I've been in the business for quite a while; five years, at the bondage site I originally left a PhD program to start up HogTied. I would have ended up at a bank or something."

After Rogers' introduction to "The Clip," or T.C., as we'll notate it, he began to collect machines. "We bought all of the machines that were commercially available, and advertised on craigslist []" for more... and for models.

Fu[c] sees a mix of pro and amateur talent; but whether or not she's experienced, "We try to make it as real as possible," Rogers says.

"I have questions like, before the shoot, 'Are you apprehensive about going on the machine,' 'How did you find us,' those kinds of questions. At the end, 'How did it feel being on the machine, how does the orgasm compare to being with a man,' so [viewers] get a genuine [experience].

"Sometimes you just have to call a cut and say, 'Look, if you're not feeling anything, then don't act.' It's okay to not make any noise at all - and it is okay. I personally would rather be running a site that's genuine than one that's got fake orgasms on it.

"Specifically, we don't want to see fake orgasms."

Fuck(ingmachines) yeah!

This all begs the question, mon Dieu, of the two humans running the bionic dreamboat of Everygal's wettest dreams: Is the Machine Better Than the Man?

"Everyone's different," Rogers hedges. "Everyone's got a different favorite machine, for instance."

It's Pirelli who gets to the meat. "From the viewer's point of view, though, if you're a guy like me or Peter, who doesn't care too much about seeing a naked guy in a scene - the view you can get! You've got a front seat view of a woman from all different angles."

"You get to see the way the pussy moves," Rogers says. "When the machine goes in and out - it's just not something you see in conventional porn.

"When you've got a double penetration, for example," he continues, "in conventional porn, so many male buttocks are in the way, you don't get to see anything. With ours, you really see the whole thing. We've even produced pieces out of Plexiglas, so you can see everything."

It's like the Visible Woman. But more.

Speaking of butts, the gay side's about to get the treatment too (although how this fits the "no hairy male asses!" bottom line is below me) at Webmaster Ricardo has been handing out cards to models, getting ready for the site's launch.

Another project in the pipeline involves "putting together a comprehensive partnership program," says Pirelli. There's already a program in place, paying out 50 percent initial and recurring. "Our follow-me program tracks any surfer sent and gives credit even if the surfer signs up to any one of our other sites."

"We are currently shooting for," Pirelli continues, "and will start shooting for [live female orgasms up close and personal] [to] be live sometime mid-year."

CyberNet Entertainment is constantly looking for new ideas for sites. They actively solicit members and surfers for ideas; in fact, Rogers says, "the last couple of machines were sent to us by machine enthusiasts. Someone built these astonishing machines (which weigh a ton) and had no use for them, so he just sent them to us."

Pirelli hints there's also a new site in the making, "very unusual... but I don't want to talk about it in print until we are absolutely ready to go live, and I am at least six months away from that."

Pirelli and Rogers both stake their pride on the sites' unique niche creation and fulfillment. "My impression is a lot of sites which are not produced by people who are directly involved in the business like Peter and I, tend to be very, very cookie-cutter," Pirelli says. "I mean, it looks like somebody has a business of making templates, and everyone... everyone's got the same-looking tour and entry."

In the trashy/sexy Demon Seed, the conscious computer manifests itself as a machine/human hybrid. The resulting creation is female.

Nary a hairy man ass in site.