Pistol, Albrite Come On Strong in 'Leaving Las Vegas' Parody


This article also appears in the June issue of AVN magazine.

Anikka Albrite and Tommy Pistol sit in a faux hotel room on a porn studio set. She just teetered in wearing red high-high-really-high heels and a tight red-and-black animal-print sheath that is nearly transparent under the bright studio lighting, revealing the phantom outline of her tiny thong underwear. Scripts in hand, they run lines as people walk around, adjusting lights and checking camera angles and light-stand shadows before director Jordan Septo walks in and stages the scene. It’s the middle of shooting Septo’s OMG ... It’s the Leaving Las Vegas XXX Parody, for Septo Studios, which most recently released a parody of Dirty Dancing in May.

Septo brings the actors into the moment he wants to capture: “Your pimp’s been killed, and you want to get really close to him.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to talk about my pimp ... ” Albrite muses.

“This is the first time they’ve been close to each other,” Septo points out to the actors, as they work out the staging. Pistol is to flop back on the bed, and then sit up into frame as the two camera ops grab the shots Septo needs as he keeps a watch on his twin monitors. After the characters make their agreement that they will be together but she will never ask him to stop drinking, the next scene on the schedule is Pistol’s death in Albrite’s arms. Pistol, shivering, whimpering, cowers under a sheet as a naked Albrite whispers to him, comforting him in his last moments. The scene is grim and poignant, as the temporary confederacy between the two ends irrevocably. When Septo calls “Cut,” the usual post-scene hubbub is delayed momentarily as people stand silently, reflecting the solemnity of what just happened. After the stills (“Move your hip up a little, that’s it”) the actors stay in position, oblivious as the lights are changed for the next scene in the room.

Ironically, the next scene is a sex scene for Pistol and Albrite. She runs into the room, wearing a revealing X-front dress that her right breast keeps slipping out of. She asks Pistol, “Are you OK?” and he responds with a wan smile, saying triumphantly, “I didn’t have a drink all day. Look, you make me so hard” as he lifts the sheet for her to see. Albrite lets out an involuntary chuckle and Pistol, in character, responds, “Don’t laugh.” But it’s too late; she cracks up and so does everybody else.

After a momentary conference with the camera ops (“You do softcore, you do hardcore.”) Pistol and Albrite settle into their scene. The mood in the studio is tense, as the camera operators try not to disturb or intrude on the performers: The possibility of breaking the mood and damaging the scene is always present on a porn set, and even more so when the performers are having sex in character.

The scene unfolds slowly, tentatively, as they open up to each other. Pistol kisses Albrite, licks his way down to her tits, then goes up to kiss her again. She works her mouth down his body, teasing and kissing her way down to his cock, maintaining eye contact all the while. The only sound in the studio are the soft pops as her mouth comes off his cock.

She pulls up and straddles his now-hard cock, squealing as he bucks up into her, rocking her hips as he thrusts. She braces herself and leans to the right, and he gasps, “Oh fuck!” at the sudden change of internal tension. Somebody notices that the bed has moved a good six inches away from the wall and the techs call a quick break and secure the bed legs with sandbags.

She grinds on top of him, doing all the work as he groans, “Oh my gawd” as if it’s a revelation. Then he pushes her back so he can lean in and eat her. She pulls her legs back, way back, making a V with her body as he tongues her. He licks and teases her to an (apparent) orgasm, and then turns her on her side and takes her from behind, romantically holding one of her hands while stroking her clit with his other hand. He teasingly fucks her, going in slowly, them pulling all the way out and going in slowly again, then pumping hard and fast as she gasps her surprise/pleasure.

After a water break, Septo tells them to go for the fip. They both overplay for the softcore fake pop before going for the real pop. They start the final part of the scene with her sucking him before moving on to the final position, building, picking up the pace as he finally pops. Right after his pop, Pistol almost laughs and chokes it back as they make eye contact and kiss affectionately. Cut.

The techs hand Pistol and Albrite towels and they wipe up, but then fall into each other’s arms and kiss, no longer in character but not wanting the moment to end as the techs move to an adjacent set to arrange the next scene.

The show must go on.

OMG ... It’s the Leaving Las Vegas XXX Parody, from Septo Studios, will be released in mid-September. The title will be distributed by Juicy Entertainment.

Click here to read the Septo Studios press release.