On the Set of New Sensations' 'The Golden Girls'

Chances are you either loved or hated the mid-’80s sitcom The Golden Girls. To some, the idea of sexagenarian roommates having fun (and even getting laid) in their old age was too frightening to watch—but that was then, and this is now, where MILFs and even GILFs have their own video series, so how could a respectable parody producer not want to give these old broads their belated XXX bones?

Indeed, the casting of this comedy was nothing short of inspired. Director Lee Roy Myers tapped the award-winning actress Raylene for the caustic Bea Arthur role; the equally talented (and feted) Julia Ann for the clueless Betty White character; tiny Rachel Love for the diminutive, cranky Estelle Getty; and extra-busty Diamond Foxxx as porn’s version of a slutty Rue McClanahan.

“I think we wanted to do an homage to the older woman, so let’s call it classic women in classic porn,” Myers summarized. “We saw that a lot of set-ups from actual classic sitcoms are the same as some of the set-ups from classic porn, so really, the whole thing is about older women finding younger men, being attracted to them, and the younger men really trying to satisfy the older women.”

The basic premise has the Golden Girls getting a visit from Raylene’s lesbian friend Jewels Jade, who takes a shine to Julia Ann and in the process manages to throw all the gals’ lives into chaos.

“So they try to turn her straight, basically, by waving all these younger guys in front of her,” Myers explained. “So we’ve got a lot of guys that come into their lives, just like on the show, because the Blanche character, played by Diamond Foxxx, is a little slutty and will throw herself at any younger guy that comes near the house. So it’s a lot of plumbers and electricians and delivery guys and landscapers who come in, and they’re the guys waved in front of Jewels, but while she’s not necessarily taking the bait on most of them, the other women are. They’re discovering more about the appeal of the older woman as they go on their little sexual adventure.”

Indeed, Jewels walks in on Diamond and plumber Johnny Castle just as he’s fixing the gals’ garbage disposal, which somehow has become clogged with a small ceramic ox (!), and after Jewels turns down Diamond’s offer to let her have him, Diamond seduces him herself on the kitchen table.

First, Johnny has Diamond on all fours on the table, licking her pussy, interrupted by a bit of b.j. action on Diamond’s part. Then Johnny turns her over for some mish before the couple moves to the floor for hot spoon, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl—though Johnny takes a break to eat out Diamond’s ass. The scene concludes with doggie over the table, and a splooge to Diamond’s face.

The Golden Girls: A XXX MILF Parody has been released by New Sensations. This article originally ran in the June 2010 issue of AVN.