Hate Cake: The New Anti-Gay Meme?

JESUSBERRY, USA—What's surprising about some of the people who use their businesses as a way to express their opposition to gay marriage is their belief that if they don't do so, God will hold it against them. Projecting that level of pettiness onto God is pretty astounding, but it seems some people just need to dumb down the Lord.

The need to publicly state one's biases is as old as the oldest profession, of course, but today we have the old arguments as well as new ones, including, of course, same-sex marriage and its alleged collision with biblical teaching. As Americans retreat ever deeper into their ideological corners, the need to escalate the stakes also increases, with companies like Chick-fil-A taking a stand, and now the bakers. Who's next, the bankers?

"Sorry, gentlemen, but our bank does not open accounts for married gay couples. Nothing personal, of course. Try the SAG credit union across the street. They'll take all sodomites."

For the time being, that seems to be my own evil fantasy of discrimination to come, but who knows where this will lead? We seem to be a people who can't live lives of quiet desperation anymore. The bile is spilling into the streets. The perceived offenses are so upsetting that, in the case of the Denver baker, if saying no to gays who want to marry means the closure of his business, so be it.

“If it came to that point, we would close down the bakery before we would compromise our beliefs, so that may be what it comes to,” he said. “We'll see.”

Seeing, it turns out, is believing. According to a local news outlet, business has been booming for Jack Phillips, the owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado.

“(On Monday) we had about twice as much business as normal,” he said. “There are people coming in to support us.”

Nothing against the gays, he added, saying he's happy to make them any kind of cake, except a wedding cake.

“I’m a follower of Jesus Christ, so you could say this is a religious belief,” he added. “I believe the Bible teaches that (homosexuality) is not an OK thing.”

One could ask him why in that case it would be okay to sell them any cake at all, but why bother? If he thinks anything like the baker in Iowa who also refused to make a wedding cake for gays in 2011, the stakes have nothing to do with life on earth.

"I didn't do the cake because of my convictions for their lifestyle," said Victoria Childress, owner of the Iowa bakery. "It is my right as a business owner. It is my right, and it's not to discriminate against them. It's not so much to do with them, it's to do with me and my walk with God and what I will answer (to) him for."

Trina Vodraska, one half of the couple rebuffed in Iowa, said in response, "It was degrading. It was like she chastised us for wanting to do business with her. I know Jesus loves me. I didn't need her to tell me that. I didn't go there for that. I just wanted to go there for a cake."

So who does God/Jesus side with in the gay wedding cake kerfuffle? Looks like we won't get an answer until it's too late to eat the damn thing.