Arrivals and departures from Porn Valley seem as frequent as flights in and out of LAX. Performers arrive out of nowhere and leave just as suddenly, with fans and colleagues wondering where they’ve gone. That was certainly the case with Siri. The buxom beauty, who officially retired in 2015, appears with regularity on lists of adult stars fans most want to see back in the business.
And soon, that wish will come true. This month, the 2013 Best New Starlet nominee is returning to the adult industry, and she’s already done a couple of shoots—and with two of the biggest stars in the business, as can be seen from this tweet.
Please excuse my sex hair ? I just had incredible sex with the gorgeous @therealsirips and birthday boy @keiranlee for @brazzers ? pic.twitter.com/89vxWt2U2v
— ANGELA WHITE (@ANGELAWHITE) January 16, 2020
And then this week in Las Vegas, right before the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, Siri shot a scene for veteran femdom director Glenn King. “Siri is one of the most amazing performers in the history of the business,” King said. “Her combination of big boobs and beautiful face helped create a legion of fans who were heartbroken when she retired. I’m thrilled to be shooting one of her first comeback scenes. She’s one of those rare performers who really stands out every time!”
Though she announced her retirement in a January 2015 YouTube video, Siri actually stopped shooting in September of 2014. “I remember the last couple things I did,” she said, citing her ‘Team BJ’ project with fellow VNA girl Sara Jay and the star showcase Sirious for PopPorn Productions, directed by Nate Liquor. “That was one of the very last things I shot.”
A newcomer to porn in 2012, Siri made a big impact in a short time. Part of her appeal, no doubt, were her 32G all-natural, milky-white breasts—and the curvaceous body that went along with them. That was Siri 1.0, she says, with bleached blond hair. “My fans will often joke that there are three Siris.” Next came a slimmer model with magenta hair after she found “a love for fitness that was a huge benefit of being in the industry.”
But after Siri 3.0 debuted, with more natural copper-colored locks, this 27-year-old decided it was time for a bigger change. And she’s eager to talk about why she left—and why she’s coming back.
‘It Had to Be All or Nothing’
“I’m in a place where I can be honest. I haven’t always had that opportunity,” she begins. “There are a lot of reasons that kind of like cumulatively had built up to where I realized I could not do this any more. I’ve gotta do something else. If I had to really summarize it … essentially it was just for my own mental health.”
After feeling depressed for several months, she “had started to see a therapist and realized I hd to majorly change my life if I was going to feel better and take care of my mental health. Even when I knew that I had depression I didn’t want to talk about it publicly because I didn’t want to ruin the fantasy.”
Watching the struggles that adult performers have faced recently and “the lives that have been lost in the last couple of years,” she admits that she could have ended up in similar circumstances. “In some of those cases … I’ve seen myself and thought, “That easily could have been me. I was just in such a hole for a while.”
She quickly adds, “I always feel like it’s important to clarify the depression I was experiencing didn’t really have anything to do with my work in adult entertainment. In fact, it was like being on set was a release in a way from feeling the bad things I was feeling and in a lot of ways it was helping me process those feelings. But it came down to the pressure I felt from my immediate family, from my parents, who really didn’t handle any of it well—that was a huge factor for me.”
And she also faced turmoil in her relationship. “I was very public about the fact that I was married in the industry back then, and that was another big thing. I did not want to be in that relationship anymore, and because my ex was very much a part of the business of Siri I couldn’t see a world in which I was still Siri without my ex being involved. … I talked so much about being married and the whole swinger thing, so I didn’t know how to make it work if I’m staying in the industry and yet leaving this relationship. And also I didn’t have the emotional energy to do that. It had to be all or nothing. I just have to walk away.”
Forging Reconnections
She told only a couple of industry friends, and then moved across the country to take a civilian job. “I also went back to school and got my degree. I was a few credit hours away from obtaining my degree when I moved out to L.A. to do porn, but now I have that dumb piece of paper.”
She’s had “good experiences overall,” but recently she began to miss “the open-mindedness and the sense of community.” It’s part of her impulsive nature—“I’m very much a Gemini”—to question her path. In 2017 she was pretty certain she would settle down and marry her then-current boyfriend. She sold SiriPornStar.com to VNA (“I still have a great relationship with them”) and thought she wouldn’t look back. But the relationship didn’t work out, and now she realizes that is “totally fine. I’m happier now.”
But the break from porn did give her a chance to strengthen other relationships. “I reconnected with my family. Basically the whole time I was in porn I saw my mom twice … both times were for a quick lunch, and both of those lunches ended with my mom bawling her eyes out. Not because I specifically said anything to her; she was just really sad she didn’t get to see me more often. … I have a great relationship with my family, so that was really tough. Even right now, deciding I’m going to go back into the industry, I’m not even sure how I’m going to navigate that.”
But now, at age 31, her parents see her as an adult. “I know they’re not going to like it now, but I don’t think any parent’s going to like every single thing their child does. And they don’t have to like it. They just have to understand that I’m happier doing it—and that I’m also safe.”
And she’s also gained perspective. “Over the past year I’ve started to think differently and really, really assess what I want in my life. I loved it in the first place and I never wanted to leave it, but I had to for self-preservation.”
What drives Siri’s desire to return to porn? Is it a desire for sex, attention or money? Naturally, all three play a role. But Siri confesses, “I hate that this the answer … but if I’m being totally honest, the most important one this around is the money. But not in like an ‘I wanna be super wealthy’ way. More ‘I just want financial stability’ kind of way.” Calling herself a “textbook millennial,” Siri says she just turned 31 and empathizes with her peers who have “oodles of student loan debt” and work civilian jobs that do not pay well by the hour. In the adult industry, people “respect your rate,” she says. “I think that’s a very valuable thing.”
‘I Pay for the Porn’
In addition to the studio shoots she has set up this month, Siri plans to ride the wave of performer-created content. “What I’ve been doing lately is solo stuff on SnapChat, and I’ve got my OnlyFans. And I never shut down my ManyVids page.”
Siri says that as early as 2013 she could see the “tide was starting to turn” in favor of performer-shot content. And she explains something few people may know: She produced all of the content on SiriPornStar.com, her VNA site. “When I say I did all of it, I mean I edited my scenes in Final Cut, I bought the royalties for any music in it—I’m pretty sure I even made a song in Garage Band. It was so fun. I’m a tinkerer and I really liked learning all the aspects of it.”
The experience she gained there should serve her well in today’s marketplace. “Doing the DIY or the self-produced thing is a super comfortable place to be because it’s kind of what I was doing before.” She marvels about how the self-made clips are so popular. “Fans just want to see someone messing around on SnapChat. But I get it. It’s super real and a different experience.”
But she’s also kept up on new directors who have come into the business since she left, Siri confides, “I really, really love that everything Bree Mills directs. Holy crap, she’s amazing. Just immediately when you asked me that, that’s the very first thing that I think. I have a membership to Adult Time just specifically because I need to want her stuff whenever she announces new things.”
So, this is one millennial who doesn’t just get a free ride on the tube sites. “I look at Pornhub every once in a while … especially for quick reference, if I’m like ‘What is this, who is that person?’ But when I’m fangirling and am genuinely a consumer of someone’s product, I pay for the porn.”
And she’s heartened by platforms like AVNStars, Snapchat and OnlyFans that encourage fans to pay for porn. “I’ve been amazed by how much people are willing to pay but the content’s got to be delivered in the format that they want. It feels like a really good time to come back.”
‘I Am One Strong Bitch’
Siri’s time away from the industry has brought not only a transformation in her mental health but also in her appearance. Until recently she was wearing her hair “pretty close to its natural hair color,” which is dirty blond. But she went back to the copper red color again in a fundraiser to benefit the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA. “I promised my fans that if they collectively donated $3,000 I would dye my hair red again and personally match 100 percent of their donations. That fundraiser ended on January 7, and since my goal was successful, I immediately had my hair dyed to a ‘natural’ looking red. My fans are quite pleased with the results, and I must say I’m thrilled about it as well!”
Her body has also gone through some changes since she began competing as a power lifter. Though she is “about the same size” as when she retired, her body is much more muscular. “My butt is quite a bit bigger from all the power lifting,” she says.“I had my first competition about a year ago,” she says, noting that she would be considered an intermediate power lifter. “I got into it just because it’s incredibly rewarding being able to lift something super heavy and say, ‘I did that. I am one strong bitch.’ That’s an awesome feeling. I also like what it does to my butt.”
But she also took steps to change another iconic part of her body. “The biggest thing that is so controversial is I got breast reduction surgery about three years ago. And so that’s the thing I get asked the most about currently,” she says.
“I have always had a love-hate relationship with my boobs,” Siri admits. Large breasts were great for a career in adult, but she “felt super pigeonholed as a performer.” And in civilian life, it was often a challenge. “Athletics—I wanted to do those things but felt I couldn’t,” she says. There simply weren’t sports bras available that fit well. “I just got the bug to look into it seriously. … I had great health insurance and I got evaluated,” she said.
Though she admits there have been some protestations—“I’ve had some fans say, “Whyyyy” as they shake their fist at the sky”—she has never regretted going from a 32G to a 32DDD: “I went from cartoonishly huge to believably huge.”
Siri was always a performer who followed her own path and took charge of her own career. She spent most of her time in the industry booking herself, and is now trying to decide whether to sign up with an agency. But whatever decision she comes to, she’ll be the one in charge.
In terms of what kinds of shoots she did—boy/boy/girl, anal and the like—Siri took it slow the first time, but this time around she’s planning to pick up the pace: “I would literally do just everything.”
“I feel refreshed. I just want to do these things and experience them for myself but also share them with my fans because I’ve been kind of amazed and a little bit humbled by the fact that I have such a huge fan base. I was surprised to find it was still there and still so strong.”
Follow Siri on Twitter and AVNStars.com.
