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| courtesy of Michael Gordon |
I've never been to Canada. Apparently there are a tremendous number of beautiful women there. And it seems each one has her very own Website.
Throughout my adult Internet travels, I have encountered amateur and professional Websites from Melbourne to Miami Beach (and Lord knows countless Spam), but for some reason I am continually drawn back to the Great White North, confronting yet another beauty with a personal URL.
I constantly say to myself, "Self, what the hell is happening up there?" Is it the beer? The moose? Rush? What is the motive behind all of these females taking to the World Wide Web? It could very well be boredom. Posing butt-naked in front of a carefully placed Web cam sure beats the misery of trudging through the snow with those tennis rackets tied to your feet.
"It's because it so frigin' cold here we have to stay warm somehow in our igloos and pass the time," joked Amy of Amysplaypen.com. "No really, Vancouver has lovely weather, but as for why so many of us Canadians have their own personal Website, well I can't speak for all, but I would say we are a lot more open about our sexuality, and not as reserved or uptight as across the border."
Reserved? Uptight? The U.S. of A. ill at ease with our sexuality? Excuse me, but we are as sexually hysterical as the next guy, but then again, when was the last time you saw a condom ad during Everybody Loves Raymond?
In fact, three of the six broadcast networks--ABC, UPN and the WB --do not accept such ads, and NBC, CBS and Fox limit the commercials to late-night time slots. For God's sake, there is an edited (!) version of the infamous Miller Lite ad where two girls fight in their panties, so yes, we do have some issues to deal with, sexually hysterically speaking.
But that is neither here nor there. This is about a disproportionate number of honeys north of the border making time on the Internet.
Who knew Saskatoon could be so wild?
Where I once thought ice hockey and bacon were the national pastimes, apparently I underestimated the huge amounts of sexuality drifting down from Nova Scotia, British Columbia and all points, I mean provinces, in between.
"I personally love to show off on camera and have fun," said Amy. "Plus getting paid in US dollars also helps with our monopoly money here."
Again with the jokes.
Let me know when they ship out the Mounties to Iraq, because only then will I be supremely confident that victory is ours.
Still, any country that has given us The Kids in the Hall, Mike Myers, The Guess Who, and Carrie Anne-Moss can't be too bad. Yet, they also shipped Celine Dion, David James Elliot and Elvis Stojko south, so one can never be too sure.
Even the mainstreamers have taken to the Web. Shania Twain? Yep, right here www.shaniatwain.com. Ms. "I'm Like A Bird" Nelly Furtado? Uh-huh, check her out at www.nellyfurtado.com/.
Of course, there was absolutely nothing in the way of nudity on these sites, so who cares, eh?
I contacted Michael Gordon, Webmaster for the ultra-sexy Girlsroom.com, a popular Webcam site featuring naughty Canadian college girls. He put me in communiqui with Susan and Taylor, two beautiful girls currently featured on the Website.
"I know there are people that imagine we live in igloos and travel by dog-sled, but in Vancouver, where we're from, that couldn't be further from the truth," said Taylor. "We're just as technologically advanced as any major US city."
She obviously has never been to Baton Rouge, LA.
"A Webcam and the Internet gives you all the power you need to do that, and of course show off whatchya got and just have fun," said Susan. "We're hotties and we know it, and we really want to show it -- that could sum up the attitude of Canadian girls."
Sacre Bleu!
Of course I inquired about why they think people might like Canadian girls better than say, a girl from Paraguay. "Who doesn't love a Canadian?" said Taylor. "We're a peace-keeping, fun loving, beer drinking people. Gotta keep busy in those cold winter months, so why not have some indoor fun and turn on the Webcam?"
I might have asked exactly what 'peace' they were 'keeping,' but that is for another column.
"I wouldn't say Canadians are less inhibited in general though... in fact, maybe we're too inhibited and too polite in our daily lives, and this gives us a chance to show how we really are and do whatever we want -- all uncensored for the world to see," Susan told me. "Perhaps it's just that the colder climate which prevents us from showing off our bodies year round also encourages us to show them off more."
I knew it. The weather. The weather and no impetus to get a real job is the unequivocal reason so many Canadian girls are online. Alert the media.
But what have we really learned? Not much, other than the fact that I would like to hang out with Taylor and Susan. Then there's my realization that I was completely wrong about people living in igloos in Canada.
Truth is, I know very little about Canada. Beyond Wayne Gretzky, Labatt's Beer and the knowing that Warren Moon once dominated the Canadian Football League like no other, I'm pretty much in the dark about our neighbors to the north.
But I leave the last word to the luscious and future Mrs. Daniels Taylor who said, "I don't know if people like our site because it comes from Canada -- or if most of them even realize that we're not American. I guess if we start chatting about hockey it kinda gives us away though, eh?
Yes. Yes it does.
-Tripp Daniels
Thoughts, opinions, cheap shots, love letters, haranguing, personalized erotica? How about a cool site I should know about? Drop me a note at [email protected].
