People often come up to me and say, "Steve, what do you think about the current political climate in the United States?" (Of course, when I say "people" I mean, "no one" and when I say "often" I should say "ever, ever, ever"). Nonetheless, I know you sought out this website for thoughtful, edifying political opinions--everyone gets their politics from porn industry trade publication's websites, right?--and I don't want to let you down. So here goes.
I'm a religious Conservative. A Christian, even. I don't agree with the political arm of the Fundamentalist movement on very many things, but my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ stand foursquare in favor of the one policy initiative that overrides all others, and even allows me to tolerate their belief in a family of invisible superheroes who live in the sky. That policy: Pornographers should be thrown in jail.
"But, Steve," I'm sure you're saying aloud, "What about the First Amendment and free speech and all that shit? What about how I make my living?" Listen, buddy, we all agree that the Bill of Rights contains some of the most super-special constitutional amendments ever enacted, but the rights it guarantees are not absolute. For example, yelling "fire" in a crowded theater isn't constitutionally protected, and the Fourth Amendment doesn't protect you from illegal search and seizure if you're black and driving an expensive car.
The Founding Fathers simply never meant the First Amendment to protect citizens if I think it would be funny for them to be arrested. Whether it's for unfair business practices, murder, or just being kind of dicky, the porn industry is bursting at the seams with folks I would gladly laugh at were they locked in a dank dungeon and beaten with a towel full of oranges. After all, if the Readers Digest taught me anything, it's that Laughter is the Best Medicine.... Besides, life is too short to let some musty, 200-year-old document stand in the way of my personal amusement.
I won't name any of the prison deserving ones here (except AVN.com editor Scott Ross, of course), but I imagine that every single porn-insider reading these words could put together his or her own list of pornographers who should be taken away in shackles, and I bet a lot of the names would overlap.
I implore all of you reading this to take a stand and join me in supporting the Conservative religious movement and all limitations on speech. Whether it's writing a letter to your congressman, voting for Right Wing politicians or just punching people who say things you don't like, one person can make a difference when it comes to speech suppression. There's nothing quite as satisfying as using the government to crush and humiliate your personal enemies, and it'll be really, really funny for all of us...as long as they don't take me, of course.
