By Farrell Timlake, Xplor Media Group, Inc
When we first ran into Chuck and Burt from Zane, we simultaneously asked the same question, where is the price fixing meeting? Indeed, I was happy to hear that we were not the only paranoid company attending the conference sponsored by AVN in Cancun. What, besides getting shut out of some sort of industry insider super scheme would compel us to spend that much money to hang out with a lot of people who on any other day of the year has us pulling out hair out by the roots? The idea of those competitors bonding with distributors for a week in the company of the most important voice of the industry, well, if that doesn't put wind in your sail, I don't know what will.
Admittedly, I went with strange expectations, but in the beautiful accommodations overlooking an azure sea, those concerns went out with the tide and down like a margarita. The easy way we moved upon arriving, graciously hosted and quickly relieved of all burdens, to an unexpected and wonderful dinner with Gene Ross and Ed Powers joining us, suggested unlimited potential. Just one big margarita, made from intoxicating weather, me and my brothers sweet and sour attitudes, hanging with a couple of salts from the industry, like that magic of the lime, the salt and the Grand Marnier on the unsettling flavor of tequila, the whole affair was instantly palatable.
"Which may explain why we were about 15 minutes late for the first forum of the conference. However, when we did arrive to the session dedicated to legal issues. I know we were surprised to see an effigy of Rob Black burning in the middle of the room with distributors dancing around it and several lawyers chanting like witch doctors trying to rid the room of liability and culpability. [Gene Ross: "He's kidding.]
"We remained mostly silent and showed due reverence, lest they remember that we distributed Max Hardcore for a spell.
"One message beat out loud and clear on the tribal drum. Every one who raises Larry Flynt and Bob Guccione up like a liability shield, thinking it will stop bullets, saying look at them what is so bad about me, better realize Larry and Bob are only going to want to pay their own legal bills, not yours.
"Money. The mere mention sets a new tone for the session. The great warrior chiefs, Russ H. of VCA, Eddie W. from Goalie , and Mel K. of GVA hold court during this part of the ceremony. All have fought hard and paid greatly for another day to make an honest buck.
Every one agrees and disagrees politely and not so politely about how to protect the market from the evil spirits that taunt every dollar the industry earns. Still, no matter how bloated distribution is and how out of control manufacturing is, there is no success for an exorcism of these ills. For all, there is merely a greater understanding of the demon which competes with everyone who earns those coveted profit dollars in this industry.
"Coming out of this meeting, I succumbed to the strange sensation of being exhausted mentally and invigorated spiritually. I knew we had not come to this in vain. Moffitt was sage like in his understanding of what we had just witnessed. In chaos, there is great opportunity, he said. I understood what he meant, but decided to spend the rest of the day meditating upon it on the beach with the bright waves pounding a rhythm for my mantra. Sex is food, people have to eat. I repeated it over and over to clear my mind and better see the path to nirvana.
"Refreshed and ready for some power schmoozing, we went to dinner with Dion and Kelly from Elegant Angel and I will be damned if they are not some of the nicest people, even if they are our competition, and no matter what Mike South says about them. Besides, we are their competition too and Mike says worse things about us anyway. However, you know the time has come to watch the alcohol consumption when you start liking and appreciating your competitors and being glad they hug that same sliver of market share that you're hanging on to.
"Seeing Paul Fishbein before the next session [we were more than on time] and feeling his sincere chivalry to lead this gesture by AVN, for bringing the industry together in an unusual and provocative way, Moffitt and I looked forward to the duration. We went into the next day's session with the boldness of young knights with something to prove in the joust. When Eddie garrulously provoked the room with the challenge, "A lot of you won't be here in thirty years, but I will still be here," I jumped to the fray. "I'll be pushing your wheelchair, and you will still be pushing my product!"
My recollection from this point on is somewhat hazy. I do not remember the substance of the meeting. Only that it was a frenzy of gauntlets thrown, challenges made, then flourishes, counters, parries, thrusts, jabs, and no quarter given or taken. I know I spoke a lot. Afterwards, I received the good notice of fair compliments. None was greater than the advice from Russ, who said I should be shut up and pay more attention, because I might learn something.
The power of this statement put a deep glow of understanding on me quicker than a tan on Jennifer Rosenblatt. Jennifer, oh Jenny. We spent a lot of quality time with Jennifer who is a fun, beautiful, vivacious, intelligent woman and a wonderful dancer. [And, we still are not getting better rates on our ads than you are so just wipe those dirty little thoughts right out of your mind. Unless you get off on thinking about the possibilities, in which case, have at it.]
I knew we were on a role the next day in a discussion when Steve Hirsch and I shared agreement and understanding on a point regarding how distributors and manufacturers should be more loyal to each other as they are in other industries. Now you would think, if two companies as different as Vivid and Homegrown can see eye to eye that would be enough to get the whole industry singing We are the World, but this was not to be. Although I think I came damn close with Bernie and Debbie who are working with Lucky and Julie at RisquÈ Business, because all those folks have the most sincere sense of harmony about them I have witnessed since Simon and Garfunkel sang Bridge over Troubled Water.
No one can really agree to anything. The tragedy of this is not sad, nor depressing. The tragedy of this is epic therefore it is heroic to merely attempt to overcome it. The glory of the conference was that each of the participants was willing to tilt against the same windmill. In the end, everyone would get to point a finger, and shoulder a burden, and speak their mind, and put their foot down on some issue which concerned them. Not everything can be fixed, especially prices and practices. Yet, some problems do have solutions, like the labor wage laws and workers comp issues that the lone ranger Peter Mueller addressed. Evolution is all about small victories over insurmountable problems.
In retrospect, I measure the success of the whole affair really by two standards. One, the wall of our expectations came crumbling down, and two the savages that poured in, we found, were quite noble indeed. I suppose a third measure is the fact that I did not find time to do any of the cultural tourist stuff that I would ordinarily seek. Instead I enjoyed the company of the people who care about the industry in a way that goes beyond my previous understanding. I thank AVN, and every one who attended, and a special thanks to Clyde Dewitt, Paul Cambria and Jeffrey Douglas for being there on their dime to give advice to all of us that would cost several hundred an hour for on any other day. Thank you to Hal Roseman for excellent arrangements and Mario our Cancun host.
I look forward to spending some quality time with you all again next year. I hope we can find the real price fixing meeting next time. Is there some sort of special password or something, a secret handshake perhaps? I donít know, but I am having more fun now getting there."
The Timlake Brothers are planning a porno industry celebrity roast for their strip club in Burbank, Club Southern Comfort. A future time as yet, unscheduled.
Farrell Timlake: "I think a porn celebrity roast would be amazing. It has the potential of being funny, a good fund raiser and a good media-type event for the mainstream to get involved in. I'm going to explore all opportunities on it. It's a matter of planning to make it happen. Right now I'm in the talk about it, get-peoples'-reaction-to-it stage. Every time I get positive feedback I know that I'm that much closer. As club's go, this one has good atmosphere. The customer base is building. We definitely have some competition in that area with Rhino and Bob's Classy Lady. From here we will launch many strategic operations.
