When I'm telling my grandchildren about how I met their grandmother, the Snake Lady, I'm going to point them to this entry.
We began January Internext's party season with a couple of Jack n' Cokes at the Gay Webmaster Kick Off Bash (it was a total sausage party...but I guess that was the point.); then fellow associate editor Frank Majors and I took off for the Girls of the Internet Party at Sapphire's Gentleman's club.
We chatted briefly with an energetic dude named Porno Dan, saw lots of women of questionable morals, and congratulated Vanilla DeVille, (www.vanilladeville.com) on her newly aquired title of Miss Nude Internet, but the real story for me was Maria, the snake lady.
Chilling at a reserved table with her 6-foot ball python, Fellatio III, Snake Lady was everything I never knew I always wanted. Snake Lady lives in a reptile-encrusted house in Las Vegas with dozens of exotic snakes, lizards, big old cockroachs and other weird-ass pets.
Maria does "sexy magic." She saws naked ladies in half at corporate events. The big joke of her act is asking a volunteer, "Is that a python in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?" Before producing an actual python from the dude's pants... and she eats fire. How awesome is that?
Someday, Snake Babe and I will grow old together in domestic bliss, practicing Doug Henning-like illusions while stepping over Australian bearded dragons, boa constrictors and hissing cockroaches and raising our abominable, half-human, half- lizard offspring.
Snake Lady, you've slithered away with my heart. Check her out yourself at www.snakebabe.com.
