Barret Moore: "If they force me to do it, I'll do it; until then I'll have a Pina Colada."
It's already a given that Juliana Sterling is packing up and leaving. The story circulating the resort compound at breakfast is that Sterling had already amassed a $135 phone bill to her boyfriend in the states because A) Sterling was homesick; B) That Sterling was resentful that other performers had their significant others along for the ride. Sterling, herself, is offering the story that she's physically ill.
Another story going around is that Herschel Savage required a room reassignment because he's a Buddhist and tends to chant, which, under most circumstances, might drive a prospective roommate to the brink of existentialism.
McCormick announces, aloud, the first official sex scene to be shot. [80 are scheduled.] It's to be an anal. "Inari Vachs, Sydnee Steele, Mark Davis on the patio and a lot of poop on the tile," McCormick announces to prospective cameramen who might want to take a shot or two. [Vacationers are invited to hang around the shoots and take pictures.]
But not all of the vacationers have arrived. Some will fly in later today, some on Monday. Two guys from Pittsburgh have taken an additional six-day excursion to make the trip on motorcycles from Steeltown. The story goes, one of the cycles broke down. With an effort to fly in parts and repair the cycle the traditional way, failing, an old Mexican guy with a machine shop out in the middle of nowhere, was solicited and came to the rescue.
Nonetheless, with a skeletal crew of vacationers at hand, a game of nude twister is initiated. The way one guys' balls are hanging in the wind prompts Stein to remark, "That reminds me. I gotta get my dog neutered."
A daylight's look at the resort lent a soothing picture of Miami Vice pastels, minus Don Johnson. The entire spectrum of the Jamba Juice menu was represented in a Fantasy Island-style motif of peaches, blueberries and guavas. Solitary rock formations climb haughtily out of the ocean at random, awe-inspiring intervals. But the air is thick and humid and promptly sweats the evils of LA out of your system. "Get me a job here," Shaena Steele whispers. When asked by a vacationer, Steele made it quick clear that she doesn't do anal. "Guaran-freaking-teed," she said. "No one will pay me enough." One of the Arizona femmes de joie, a thoroughly over-tanned blond with an upturned nose, named Linda, asked me if I was one of the "crew". I told her, no, that I was a journalist. All of which prompted a loud gulping noise and carefully constructed conversation on her part from then on, as if I were quoting her for The Christian Science Monitor.
M.C. for the week, Ron Jeremy initiates a game of clothing-optional pool volleyball where both the score and the sides seem to change at whim, possibly because Mila kept feeding all the players some lethal tequila and punch concoction out of a bottle. During the course of seven days, Jeremy's face burns, peels, burns and peels in a shedding cycle that would embarrass a snake.
Picture working in a plastic dry cleaning bag and you get some idea of the lung-sucking working conditions the performers had to face. Several scenes had to be halted to prevent imminent sun and heatstroke. That, and the natural habitat also accounted for a bizarre role call of skinned knees, skinned toes, and bandages planted on very weird areas of the body. Tice Bune would slice up three of his toes in a broken glass incident Monday afternoon.
Now, depending on whom you talked to, Tice lost anywhere from three pints to three quarts of hemoglobin and the use of his foot forever. Not exactly, but Tice was heavily bandaged and chose his own form of sedation after complaining that the medicos wanted to charge him $65 for the privilege of walking again.
Three ravens perched on a green beach umbrella had a front row seat to the goings-on at the bar. Late Sunday is a scene out of La Dolce Vita, witnessing Juliana Sterling getting passed around like a doobie by some naked guys with fat white asses. Cameras go to work. Sterling, after the morning's brouhaha, was reported to be staying, at least until Thursday. Shaena Steele, who just had Alexandra Silk's foot up her ass, is overheard telling some guy, "It's not you, it's me. I need variety. It's only cheating if you lie about it."
Barret Moore is overheard telling someone, "If they force me to do it, I'll do it. Until then, I'll have a Pina Colada."
Herschel Savage is seen making out with one of the topless femmes de joie. Hersch is going to get a ration of shit for what happens with her in the next 12 hours. Meanwhile, Steele was asked about her seriously fucked up toe.
Shaena Steele: It started out on a sunny, Sunday afternoon. I was so caught up in the scene, I didn't know it was cut. I was hot, sweaty, horny. Then it was pointed out to me that I was missing a large chunk from my big toe. It was like several layers of skin. I didn't notice it until I started walking through the sand."
G. Ross: "Have you ever fucked without a toe before?"
Steele: "I don't remember. Have I ever noticed my toe before when I'm fucking?"
G. Ross: "Have you ever noticed that you didn't have your toe before?"
Steele: "I didn't notice while I was fucking. The only time I noticed was after the scene when I started walking on it."
G. Ross: "And it was gone? Your toe was gone?"
Steele: "A large portion of it. I guess it happened when I was climbing the rocks. It lacerated itself. I bandaged myself. Then they noticed there's a huge portion of your toe missing. Maybe a doctor should look at it. A doctor looked at it. He cleaned it like five times."
G. Ross: "A real doctor?"
Steele: "Yeah."
G. Ross: "Did he show you his papers or anything?"
Steele: "No, but he took me to his office - a back office. Wait a minute, this sounds like a..."
G. Ross: "A Mexican doctor?"
Steele: "I would assume that's what he was, seeing as how he didn't speak any English. Did he actually graduate from medical school? This I don't know. Did he seem to know what he was doing? Then he cleaned it like five times and put some stuff on it that made it sting. He bandaged it and taped it. I went, okay, good.`Bye-bye. He said, no, 30 dollars please. I was supposed to pay in cash because they didn't want to write anything to the hotel, cause last year there was a problem with that. However, because it happened during work, I asked the translator to talk to the doctor and see if we can get it straightened out. Worst case scenario, when I check out I owe the doctor 30 bucks. But for a right big toe, it's worth it."
G. Ross: "Didn't you have the same kind of problem last year?"
Steele: "I didn't have a big toe problem. I had strep throat action. I got on the airplane, felt fine, when I got off the airplane my throat was really sore."
G. Ross: "Does all this shit happen when you're on vacation?"
Steele: "Usually, yeah. I have bad luck vacations. Don't take a vacation with me. It's bad luck. But it's okay. If it's just a toe this time, it's alright. It'll be fine."
G. Ross: "I noticed Saturday night you were the first woman to go officially nude."
Steele: "Yes. I was thinking about this all the time, that I got to come back here and be totally naked whenever I want. As soon as I got off the bus I wanted to get naked."
G. Ross: "Is this something you do all the time?"
Steele: "Yeah. When I answer my door, I'm naked. I do it all the time in my apartment. If you live across the street from me you know my routine. I dance in front of my windows from about 10 to 12, bare assed naked."
G. Ross: "Do you have a suggestion what kind of binoculars to use to spy on you?"
Steele: "High-powered. If you have the regular stadium binocs with the dial-focus, that works."
The subject shifted to Kid Vegas and Steele's recent feud with him
Steele: "He's nobody. He's a lucky little prick. He's believing his own bullshit. What was his top ten jerkoff list? I was at the top. He was talking about my lines and wrinkled I was? Something like that. Old and wrinkled and washed up. I don't know. I'm not going to toot my own horn at all because I don't do that. But I don't see any crow's feet. If I'm wrong, correct me. Maybe he's looking for attention. Maybe he was neglected as a child. Maybe we need to nature him."
