Porn Stars Explain Net Neutrality on 'Funny or Die'

LOS ANGELES—Three adult performers knowledgeable on the issue of net neutrality have teamed up with the crack writing staff at Funny or Die to put together a video that does a better job than most in explaining what is really at stake in the debate over regulating the internet.

The performers—Alex Chance, Mercedes Carrera and Nadia Styles—strip nude on a white sound stage for the 1:48 video that may be elucidating on the subject at hand, but which also blurs the porn stars' privates. Nothing neutral about that!

At any rate, the women proceed to gamely describe what would happen if net neutrality goes away, with Carrera explaining that it "could create special fast lanes for content providers willing to pay more,” and Chance elaborating, “That means slow streaming, slow social networking, and yes, slow porn.” That gets to the nub of the problem.

Obama is portrayed as sexy and on the right side of history, while anti-neutrality advocate Senator Ted Cruz is panned as "not sexy" by Styles, who adds that the divisive Texas politician "doesn’t want me to get naked for you.”

With an attitude like that, maybe Texas should secede.

In the end, net neutrality is characterized as “a giant sex party where everyone gets to have sex with anyone they want,” with Carrera warning, “Without net neutrality, that sex party is only for rich people.”

Like Ted Cruz, whose presidential ambitions may have just hit a skid.

The video can be seen here.