X-Cess Video's Alex Katz and director Phil M. Noir, Noir has a suggestion for Katz. "He [Katz] would have to be an animated turd," said Noir. Noir and Katz are feuding over Cockzilla, a movie about a dick that looks like a dinosaur, or vice-versa. Frank Thring's the director, and therein lies the rub, as far as Noir is concerned. Noir, director of Katz' all-time best seller, The Passion, ran into Katz last week in a local mart. The reunion wasn't exactly a cordial one.
The last time Noir had any dealings with Katz was a "scouting expedition" to Polaroid locations for Cockzilla. Noir, ostensibly, was going to be the director. In fact, he says Katz always assured him he was going to be the director.
Noir: "It was an idea I told a number of people about [including AVN publisher Paul Fishbein] years ago. Then I went into Alex's office one day. We were bantering back and forth about future movies. I mentioned Cockzilla. He [Katz] bowled over laughing, thinking what a great idea. I sat there in his office and made a sketch - a T Rex with giant, heavy hairy balls with the head of a penis shooting sperm out through its mouth. Then I made a Vaginasaurus. I gave the drawings to him, thinking it would be really fun - a straight, out and out parody of Godzilla. We started talking about different plot lines. We tossed ideas back and forth. Him sitting there and saying, 'I want to make it different. I want to make it big. I want to make it wild.' He even used the word, 'psychedelic.' He couldn't even define words in English. He used cockamamie notions. We ended up with Alex saying he didn't know what-the-fuck he wanted. A couple of months down the road, Alex tells me that he's in contact with some guy who has footage of this movie Planet of the Dinosaurs. Alex said he could buy the footage and we could write Cockzilla around the animation portions of the film. I thought it was great.
Noir commissioned a script - a cross between King Kong and Godzilla, but, according to him, Katz backed out of the deal for whatever reasons. "You never know about Alex," said Noir. "That was it for quite a few years. Then, one day, he contacted me. Alex told me he was thinking about going back into production with Cockzilla. It was after I purchased a fax machine, because he said he lost the original sketch, could I fax him another sketch. I did another quick one from memory and sent it to him. Nothing came out of this. Then, at the 1998 CES show, there is, lo and behold, Alex Katz and a guy walking around in a Cockzilla suit. Almost the exact way I sketched it. I'm flabbergasted to see my sketch walking around."
Noir: "Alex, are you intending to do this movie? This is my movie. He said, 'Yes, yes. I'm going to do this movie. I wanted to do something for the CES show - big and impressive. It hasn't gone into production.' In front of a number of people at AVN, he said, 'If I make this movie, you're the guy to make it.' That was enough for me. Next thing I know Alex is advertising the movie. But he doesn't own the property. One of the ads, a full page color ad, was made to look like an AVN on-the-set piece with Alex saying that Cockzilla was all his idea. When I saw that ad, I wanted it to be known that Alex did not create this, that if he never comes out with this, I'm not going to pursue it. But if he does, I will pursue it. I asked Alex about the ad, and he told me it was all fluff and promotion, that I was the man to do it."
That understood, Noir ran into Katz several days ago. Noir says they had a congenial exchange, talked about their kids, then Katz told him he made Cockzilla.
"I looked at him," said Noir. "What are you talking about? You made Cockzilla. WE were supposed to make it together. I commissioned a script which he didn't pay for, by the way. Then he starts telling me about the European-thing and gives the most jumbled, meaningless diatribe. 'It's a deal. It's a separate deal...you and I never had a...' Not only did he say we had a deal in front of people, we had a handshake agreement. I gave you two sketches. I don't even necessarily care that much that he went ahead and made that movie. What's he going to give me for it? I expect 50% of this."
According to Noir, Katz said he wasn't going to give him anything, that it was all "a terrible miscommunication," that it was all in Noir's mind. "He [Katz]told me he created Cockzilla there in his office, and that he had no knowledge of any of these sketches," Noir said. "Alex claims he never faxed any sketches to a fx company to make into this creature, that he went to a dinosaur book, looked it up and described it to them and they made it."
Noir: "So I said to Alex you're going to stand there and lie to my face. You went ahead, you took my idea. You told me a dozen times I was the man to make this movie. Now you're going to tell me we never had this discussion in your office. The creature on the CES floor was almost, verbatim, a likeness of the thing I drew for you twice. All of a sudden, all knowledge of that has evaporated. I called him a thief, that I'd seem him in court. I called him a ganef, actually. His wife stood there, appalled, knowing in her heart of hearts that Alex was lying through his teeth. You could see it. If he releases it in the United States, or anywhere for that matter, he's going to find himself in a court battle. I hate to go to court over something as stupid as this. Alex and I had a fairly congenial relationship over the years. I heard different stories about him being a thief. I never gave that credence. I always heard he was a 'hype' artist. We made a couple of happy pictures together and went our separate ways. He lead me on. I could have taken this elsewhere."
When asked about Cockzilla, Katz gave a lightning speed account of the film's promotional aspects, including the fact that it's supposed to have n initial theatrical release [an R-rated version] in Japan later in the year. Katz calls the project his "great Cockzilla - a multi-part epic." Katz says the film will have computer animation, mixed with cartoon images. There will, of course, be a XXX version. Katz was asked about Noir.
Katz: "We discussed this idea of MINE three-plus years ago. At that point he [Noir] might have submitted to me some kind of drawing. I don't have a record of it. I don't think he [Noir] has any right to the image. This Cockzilla was purely based on my vision and my vocal order to the model maker to create a creature based on a dinosaur, T-Rex. I have step-by-step computerized data records and faxes with dates and drawings and a whole staff of model makers to prove the creature's creation. It was created in a computer. I don't remember what his [Noir's] drawing looked like."
Katz' version of the recent meeting was that Noir had upset his wife with his language. "He used very improper words," said Katz.
Katz: "If he [Noir] has any other statements he wants to make, he's going to have to make them more serious and we'll see who's going to win. If he [Noir] wants to make more serious statements, he should make the proper authorities aware of such." Katz said he has copyright attorneys on this issue and is fully protected. "I'm even ready for either a Warner Bros. or a Sony Corporation attack on me," Katz said.
Katz calls Noir a "golddigger and opportunist."
