This story originally ran in the October 2014 issue of AVN magazine.
"You should have been here yesterday," director Will Ryder greets me as I walk onto the set of This Ain't Supernatural XXX, his new parody of the TV show for Hustler Video.
"Yesterday we had demons all over the place. Tomorrow, James Bartholet is gonna get bludgeoned to death and Romi Rain is gonna get fucked." Ryder spots Bartholet approaching and continues without a pause. "We're gonna set up a sex scene with Bartholet. It's the only way we can get out of the scene."
Bartholet doesn't break stride as he flips a middle finger to Ryder and walks away smiling.
In the light-industrial-manufacturing space turned studio on this hot afternoon, the scene to be shot involves Scott Lyons and Jeanie Marie Sullivan, in a small room that is playing the part of a recording studio control room. It's a real office, not a studio space, so the walls can't be moved and space is tight—and the ceiling will hold in the heat from the lights in the room. For once I'm glad I'm watching from outside the door, not crowding up the room. Ryder shoulders his camera and talks to Lyons and Sullivan.
"This is a quick-and-dirty scene," Ryder tells them. "You want to get in and get out. We'll do it for soft first, then go back and do hard. Ready?"
Nods.
"Annnd ... Action!"
Lyons kneels in front of Sullivan, pulling her legs apart, poking his head between her legs. As it's soft, he hides the action from Ryder's camera as Ryder goes for a closeup of her face and then a two-shot with them both in the frame. Can't tell if he's really in there or she's acting, so the camera can't either. When she goes in for the softcore blowjob, from my angle I can see that she is really doing it, with slurping and popping noises as she expertly hides the action from the camera. When she deep throats him, you can read it in his face.
He lies back and they go straight to reverse cowgirl, still softcore. "Keep those legs together," Ryder warns. She smiles, biting her lower lip as he grabs her hips and bounces her up and down on him. She gets traction on the floor and starts to do her own bouncing. She pouts for a moment as Ryder says, "Hold it" and moves several feet to reframe for another angle but the smile comes back when she hears "Action!"
Lyons reaches around for her clit as she grinds her hips on his cock. That's one way to hide the action. He starts driving up into her and she moans with pleasure as she starts rubbing her clit hard and fast. "Oh fuck!" she groans as the camera moves in on the covered action. Next stop on the erotic itinerary is cowgirl, on the floor, with the soundboard in the background. Again, softcore, no high bouncing, nothing showing, but that doesn't stop her from grinding her hips around his cock, maintaining eye contact as his face is a study in concentration. She leans forward to kiss him but is stopped by Ryder saying firmly, "Let me see your face" and she backs off, sitting up straight again. After a moment, Ryder says, "Okay, let's go for the fip," and Lyons starts picking up the pace, building to the fake internal pop.
The hardcore version is more intense, with Ryder's camera able to take in the action without worrying about maintaining the softcore curtain. Similarly, Marie and Lyons are more relaxed, less vocal (softcore scenes are usually overacted to compensate for the missing visuals) and more intense. The first sequence now adds a couple of elements like Lyons peeling Sullivan's panties off, and her hips bucking under his tongue as he eats her. The camera gets the same view of the blowjob that I did in softcore, and she can now deep-throat him on camera, hold, and come off with an audible pop that adds a visual complement to the implied action in the softcore. When she looks up at him with a coquettish "I want to fuck" she punctuates it by pulling off her dress, and when Lyons starts to drive up into her on camera in cowgirl, her cry of "Fuck me fuck me fuck me FUCK ME!!" has a ring of authenticity that the softcore didn't. When they come apart to go to cowgirl from reverse, she pouts, "Gimme my dick back!" right before Ryder calls "Action!" but he already gave it back to her and Ryder has to join the fuck in progress.
For the scene end, Ryder sets up the dialogue for after the pop, and calls action. Sullivan gets the ball rolling by yelling, "I'm gonna come all over your fuckin' dick!" and Lyons, ever the gentleman, waits till she's finished before standing up and following suit onto her smiling face. She takes his cock in her mouth, then pulls away slowly—and silently. Ryder feeds her her line: "Let's get out of here!" She holds for a second, repeats "Let's get out of here!" in character, and they grab their clothes and head for the door.
"And cut," Ryder tells himself behind the camera.
"Okay, what's next?"
