CANOGA PARK, Calif.—"Are we going to find out something about Kagney Linn Karter that we don't already know?" we wonder internally as we arrive to the set of All About Kagney Linn Karter, the new starring vehicle for the unstoppable bombshell being produced by Third Degree Films.
We then walk in to find her gyrating on a stripper pole before a group of onlookers, and it dawns on us: the title isn't meant to indicate that biographical info on Kagney will necessarily be disclosed, but simply that she is the center attraction of this show. Barring our disappointment at the realization that we likely will not be afforded any new glimpses today into the psyche and formative background of KLK, we remain enthused aplenty to watch her be naked and have lots of dirty sex for the next several hours.
The impending scene is to be a three-way lez-out with Kagney, former contract sister Sarah Vandella (known under said former contract as Sara Sloane) and Marie Luv. Marie and Sarah are among the audience watching Kagney dance. Director Mike Quasar instructs the two to whisper a few things to one another.
"Talk to each other about her vulva, or whatever lesbians talk about," he tells them.
The scene itself is being staged in the adjacent studio, and split up between a living room setting and a bed, with a dressing screen dividing them. Gesturing toward the living room couch, Quasar goes through the blocking with the gals: "So you'll have some kissy, gropey, rubby over here; then we'll come over here," he says, proceeding to leap onto the bed, "and you'll have the lesbian sex!"
Apparently what lies ahead isn't quite that simple, however. "Among the hardest things to accomplish in life is peace between the Israelis and Palestinians, and a three-way lesbian encounter," Quasar quips. This is because of the complex positioning required to keep each girl's hoo-ha in view.
These three girls are pros, though, and they know just how to give the camera—and each other—what's needed. At one point during the frenzied chow-fest that follows, Kagney exclaims, "I think I'm on some kind of cum rollercoaster right now," to which Sarah replies, "And you're about to go for another ride!"
You know, maybe we did learn a little something about Kagney Linn Karter today—she can ad-lib sexual metaphors that we couldn't come up with if we tried. Like "cum rollercoaster."
All About Kagney Linn Karter debuted today from Third Degree Films.
