PORN VALLEY—In the midst of the AVN Awards voting and lots of people preparing to head to Vegas next month, some mainstream news may have slipped through the cracks ... like world-famous golfer Tiger Woods being caught dallying with about 20 women, none of whom was his wife Elin, but including porn stars Holly Sampson and Joslyn James.
But adult producers are always on the alert for mainstream stories that would make hot adult fare, and Nectar/ZB Ventures owner Charlie Z had a good idea where to sink the money for his next production.
"Charlie called me with the idea," said veteran director/scripter Cash Markman. "When I saw the headlines breaking, I thought, 'That's got to be a parody,' and I even thought the title should be Tiger's Got Wood, but I didn't do anything about it. Then Charlie called me up and asked if I was available to do it, so I had to write the script in one day. But I was laughing while I was writing it and everybody was laughing while we were shooting it, so I guess it works. And we had like two days to put it together, and we were so lucky to get Jonny Slim because he's not a bad match for Tiger; a lot better than any other I've seen. When you do a parody, you usually try to get someone who looks at least in the ballpark."
Pulling together a supporting cast on short notice apparently wasn't a problem.
"We got Diana Doll to play Tiger's wife, having a revenge fuck with Evan Stone," Markman stated. "She's delightful. She's Czechoslovakian, and of course Tiger's real wife is Swedish, but she'd got that European thing going. She reminds me of one of the Gabor sisters; I'd like to do a Green Acres parody with her. She would be ideal. She had a ball, because I don't think anyone's ever let her do this before. Usually, you bring them out, they have sex and you send them home. She got to chase him with a golf club, she got to attack his car, she got to break dishes over his head, and she had so much fun doing this—I've never heard her scream so much."
Other cast members include India Summer as Rachel Uchitel, the gal who broke the story in the first place.
"We called India's character 'Rachel Ucantell,' because you can tell she's having sex," Markman explained. "She has a resemblance to that girl, so we cast her in that part and that's the scene on the putting green. All the girls we booked had a resemblance to one of the mistresses."
Other cast members include Richelle Ryan, Heidi Mayne, Ryder Skye, Madelyn Marie, Jazy Berlin and Krissy Lynn, plus Markman favorite Slick Rhodes and retired star Shanna McCullough as the newscasters who cover the "Tiger Would" saga.
AVN was allowed to observe the Jonny Slim/Krissy Lynn scene. Busty blonde Krissy plays Jonny's caddy, whom he invites into the locker room for her "tip." Trouble is, a couple of other club members (Jake Jacobs, Captain Bob) are already in there showering, but Jonny quickly orders them out, and even though one's a billionaire and the other a senator, they take the hint because "They'll do anything for The Tiger." This impresses Krissy immensely, and she quickly moves in for a passionate kiss.
In moments, both players are nude, and Jonny is giving Krissy's pussy some oral lubrication before she does the same to his ample cock. From there, she mounts him cowgirl style, then leans back for a missionary match-up, ending in a facial.
The movie is expected to be edited and ready for duplication in time for the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, and ready for shipping shortly thereafter.
"The whole point is to get it out quickly while the news is still hot, and before other people start putting out things of this type," Markman explained. "I think this will be the best one. We shot over at Remmet Studios, and we used a locker room and a shower set; we used a green screen for the news broadcasts; we used the bar, and we used one hotel room with a corridor. ... We rushed it, but it's not going to feel rushed."
Markman was careful only to use scenarios already reported in the news, to help give the movie its realism.
"I was going to do a scene with the press, and have him bombarded by the press, but that hasn't happened," Markman noted. "He hasn't come out of hiding. So I thought, 'Let's stick with what happened; the fact that the wife went after him with a golf club, allegedly; the fact that he's gone into hiding; the fact that he's had these affairs; the fact that the news has gotten hold of it and is breaking the story.' That's how I aimed it, and spun everything in a funny way, but I didn't want to just make stuff up, because the reality of it is so good already."
Besides, Jonny Slim has been signed to a three-picture deal, and as the mainstream press continues to cover the story, there are bound to be plenty of mini-dramas ripe for Markman's sardonic pen.
"The story just keeps getting more and more interesting," he observed. "Who knows where it's going to be 30 days from now? So we wanted to keep it open if it seems to scream for another parody."
A sampling of photos from the movie can be found here.
Wicked Pictures will be the exclusive DVD distributor of the movie which hits the streets on Jan. 27. Cable Entertainment Distribution (CED) will represent the title for all other rights.
