holds barred grudge match pitting Scotty Schwartz vs. Max Hardcore. And, proving that he's not kidding around, Max has purchased scottyschwartz.com and intends to use the website as an in your face gesture towards Schwartz. "He asked for it," Max said.
Max: "We decided to take this seriously, now. We didn't ask for it. I didn't really want it, but since Scotty keeps pushing the issue we have to respond."
G. Ross: "Are you going to be in training, now?"
Max: "There's no need. Not for Scotty. I'll just continue with my normal routine which includes getting up nearly every day."
G. Ross: "Getting up is a good start."
Max: "We decided ahead of time since I like to schedule things exactly what we're going to do. We have it worked out to a thirty second game plan for Mr. Schwartz."
Max: "Max has his strategy figured this way - Seconds 1 to 7: Max will destroy Shorty's ability to speak, using his deadly "Head-Slam" [patent pending] and "Throat-Fuck( maneuvers; Seconds 8 to 14: Max will tear off Shorty's arms and pulverize his severed limbs into a bloody mess. Each arm will be auctioned off separately on eBay with the proceeds given to homeless Teenies; Seconds 15 to 20: Max will dress Shorty up as one of his "Fuck-holes"( complete with a wig and make up. Have your camera ready; Seconds 21 to 28: Cloey Adams, Max's contract star, and the girl who got Shorty's shorts tied in a knot when she would not blow him for free and give him half her money, will enter the ring and ream the little retard into submission using Max's original "Pile-Driver"( and "Gape-Fuck"( techniques; Seconds 29 to 30: after total destruction and humiliation of this tiny trouble maker, Max will take him by his ankles, spin him around, and launch Shorty into the crowd. All audience members inadevertently battered by Shorty's dismembered carcass will receice three months free. Handywipes( will be provided."
Max: "It's in the details"
Cloey said that she will be ringside. "She's going to get in there at the end, after I destroy him," said Max. "It's show time."
G. Ross: "What do you do if he brings in outside reinforcements like Corey Feldman."
Max: "Once he's in the ring, it's me and him. I don't care if he brings a whole posse of parasites with him. We're going to deal with him. We're going to have our team, too. And we have a secret plan if he plans on bringing so-called reinforcements. We'll deal with that appropriately."
Cloey: "I think he'll look better as a girl."
Max: "We're going to dress him up.."
G. Ross: "You're going to turn him into a bitch right in the middle of the ring?"
Max: "..Yeah. He's going to be completely dismembered at this point. He will be offering absolutely no resistance."
G. Ross: "You're practically guaranteeing that we're going to see the last of Scotty Schwartz as we know him....this could be a career-ending situation. Are you fully prepared to accept this responsibility upon your shoulders?"
Max: "I didn't ask for it. The proof is in the results. The results are that Cloey is sitting here and he's sitting playing with his pecker. We mean business."
Max said he's heading for Cannes [May 11 to 22] with team Hardcore that will include Cloey, Olivia and Jade Marcella. "Olivia is a part time girl," Max says. "She still hasn't totally freed up her mind from the previous engagements, but she's getting with the program. Olivia is our designated traffic-stopper. Whenever we have problems filming we get her out there in heels and a bikini."
When we caught up to Scotty Schwartz he was in Florida enjoying some spring training baseball.
Schwartz: "I saw Barry Larkin and the Cincinnati Reds Thursday night. I'm going to see an Orlando Magic game Friday night. I ran into Peter Rose at the airport."
[Schwartz was told about Max Hardcore's purchase of scottyschwartz.com. and said if Max has got any balls, he'll put the site on the line if Scotty wins.]
Schwartz: "He can blow me. What is that all about? He's a weasel among weasels. He makes Paulie Shore look bad. Like this anything to do with him walking in a squared circle. I'm going to buy maxhardcoreschmuck.com."
[Schwartz says he's heading back for LA this upcoming week to do a Sex Court episode for Playboy]
