dollar philosophical questions we ponder in day to day porn. One of those being - what would have happened had Kid Vegas' editing bay team gone down in JFK Jr.'s airplane? The insight to that one is generously glimpsed in the Kid's new release for Xtraordinary Pictures, called Lifestyles of the Rich and Kid Vegas, a cleverly titled but oafishly constructed opus, which makes strong attempts at delivering heat but tends to get caught with its technical shortcomings dangling in the still Las Vegas night.
Gone, at least for the moment, is the cutting-edge visual anarchy of previous Kid outings. Gone is the truly inspired juvenile delinquency, replaced by a nagging insistance to put a video camera in the hands of a professional thrill ride operator, and accomplish what has never been accomplished before in a Kid Vegas movie - the inclusion of actual beginning-to-end sex scenes. There are four, none of which are particularly insistent in their attempts, either to focus, or mount the frame in an upright position. Besides, they're prefaced with what's tantamount to on-screen apologies that none are anals. So, just on points, alone, it's Gen X's Matt Zane 4, the Kid 0, by virtue of Zane's recently released Ass Lovers which, by the way, doesn't require corrective lenses or Dramamine to watch. Not that "Lifestyles" doesn't give it its best shot in the carnal love department. The hotel tryst with sexy Zarina and Chronic D playing a bartender rates a Hallmark honorable mention, particularly for Chronic's efforts to chronically throat-fuck Zarina. Layla Jade, likewise, provides some pleasing oomph in the sexuality department. Johnny Toxic, Julianna Sterling and Celeste Michaels round out the human beings on camera quotient.
Otherwise, to pass time, there's footage of one degree or another, from this last CES show, including a scene of Bill Margold pissing in a urinal [his back to the camera]; and the Kid having a yarmulke spray-painted on his then-platinum noggin.
In other news, the Kid says he's going to San Felipe, Mexico April 14 to film Kid Vegas - Springbreak 2000.
G. Ross: "Hasn't spring already broken?"
Vegas: "Yeah, it started. I already went down there and shot a little stuff with GM Video. Now I'm going to go down there again with them to shoot their springbreak stuff and shoot my movie, also. It'll be fun. Lots of college girls. That's where they're all hanging out."
G. Ross: "I didn't know they had colleges in Mexico."
Vegas: "They don't. They're all on the tour buses. There's a big tour going on down there right now. It was awesome. I just got back from there. I had food poisoning and had to come back."
G. Ross: "What kind of food poisoning?"
Vegas: "Fish tacos, but I think it was stingray or something."
G. Ross: "You're supposed to take the sting off the ray before you eat it."
Vegas: "I know. I think they cut it and left it on the beach what with all the dead fish that were out there....I was there for five days....most of the time I had sunblock on, or my jumpsuit on."
G. Ross: "Did you do any public sex?"
Vegas: "No. We just got a lot of girls to do public flashing. We tried to do public sex, but the girls wouldn't go for it. They weren't drunk enough yet. The night I was going to do it, I got sick. I was throwing up. It was coming out both ends."
G. Ross: "That works."
Vegas: "Shitrock is doing it. Legend is very upset with that....but we could have gotten some good footage. We were blasting that room, me and Darby from GM Video....I decided there was some good stuff for a Kid Vegas movie so I've decided to go back down there with a shitload of money...and we can find the drugs down there. They're all over."
G. Ross: "What's the drug of choice these days?"
Vegas: "We ran into some mushrooms, some weed. You can go to the El Pharmecia and buy almost anything, Demarol, whatever."
[Proving once again that he and automobiles are a lethal concoction, Vegas said he had his windshield smashed while in Mexico. "There were five girls across from our room," he explains. "I followed my nose and went over to their room. There were three girls on one bed, two on the other. I decided to pick the bed with more girls and dived in. The girls were all over me and one started blowing me. Darby started filming. The girl that I brought along with us to do a scene with me walked into the room. She pulled the girl off of me and caught me with my pants down. She didn't take too kindly. She started yelling and walked out of the room slamming the door."
G. Ross: "Was she the alleged windshield breaker?"
Vegas: "Yeah, the alleged. I can't prove it even though I was across the street watching her do it."
