In a call to the public masses, Legend Video has put out a bulletin expressing a need for contract performers. Below, we reprint said bulletin:
Attention all hot chicks! Have you dreamt of living a glamorous life free of real work and responsibility? Of course you have! 9 to 5 jobs are for minorities and ugly people. Not you! God has blessed you with big tits, a tight pink pussyhole and very little common sense and morality. You were born to fuck for money! And Legend Video is ready to help you live your dream!
Legend Video is looking to sign attractive, bubbly, motivated young women with ample jugs and gaping buttholes to lucrative six-picture-a-year contracts. The contracts also include a profitable toy promotion deal, as well as in-store signing ventures.
"It's a great time to have a vagina," says Legend PR Guru Nelson X. "It's like being the only kid on the block with a PSP. It makes you special."
Legend contract girls will be expected to act in features, sign autographs and show up to all scheduled engagements. Therefore, all applicants must know how to read, write and tell time. This is non-negotiable.
Applicants must also be attractive. No fatties, oldies or crack junkies. Chicks with odd-looking faces need not apply. That look may work for Picasso and [certain other adult companies], but Legend prefers classic beauty features.
"We're looking for girls who are pretty and professional," says Legend Video owner Jack Richman. "The kind of girl you'd be proud to take home to mom. You know, if your mom was a raging dyke."
If you're an attractive girl who would like to ejaculate strange men with your anal and vaginal openings for piles of cash, please contact Nelson X at 818.734.4200 or at [email protected]. Serious inquiries only.
Blowing Nelson X during interviews is encouraged and accepted, but does not guarantee employment or anything other than a possible visit to your local health clinic.
