Not counting the porn stars who were there to do it anyway because of their respective deals with Metro, at least one vacationer, on record, got laid. This was Jason, 21, who was on the Howard Stern Show several months ago to tell his virginal tale of woe. By relating the best sob story, Jason won an opportunity to get his knob waxed on this trip. Therein lies a story in itself. One of Jason's buddies was going to spring to have the aforementioned Linda of the Arizona femmes de joie indoor team perform the deed. However, when Playboy got wind of what was going down, they wanted dibs on recording the event for their show, Sexcetera.
Linda got the hook in favor of Barret Moore who came with glowing recommendations courtesy of Herschel Savage. And, if you can smell Smally Paulie's hand in all of this, move to the head of the bus. That Moore is Paulie's blowjob fantasy, plus the fact that both Paulie and Jason have a few things in common aside from Stern origins, guaranteed Moore some kind of place in the cherry-busting hall of fame. Paulie, of course, got to shoot stills of the event on camera, making for a nice, cozy sampling of New York cronyism.
The altar of devirginization was to be Playboy's oceanside villa, zero time being 10:30 Tuesday night. Tape recorder in hand, I ask Jason, with waves lapping in the background, what thoughts were going through his mind. It seemed like a reasonable question, since Jason's first time out of the box is with a woman most guys will never, ever get to do in their lifetime. Smally Paulie cracks up. "What a fucking world," Paulie laughs, as he parrots my words to Jason, 'What thoughts are going through your head? Sheesh."
"Hey, you got to see this view," interrupts Sexcetera producer Frank Martin. I look at the view cooperatively. I urge Paulie to do the same. He acts like he doesn't hear me. "Paulie, look at the fucking view for chrissake."
Paulie starts telling me a little more about Alyssa Allure, and his official, on-screen deflowering. "There was some documentary crew from Belgium there," Paulie recalls. "Another guy named Rudy was shooting camera for the documentary. Then there was Rebecca Bardoux, and Bryn from AVN. Then there was a cameraman and a still photographer from Pleasure. And me and Alyssa Allure. Paulie forgot to mention the 10,000 Macedonians in full battle array, but you get the point. There were lots of people observing him.
Jason didn't have as many spectators, but enough to make your first time a wee bit uncomfortable. With Sexcetera's sexy drink of water Suzanna Breslin doing the play-by-play, Playboy had the official video honors while industry cameraman Jake Jacobs grabbed some video footage for a future vacation promo. Jason tells Playboy, "This is my first time doing anything. I feel great - excited." Jason said he didn't come into this with any great expectations. Moore said she thinks she'll know instinctively what to do to get Jason off.
After some initial tit/snatch foreplay with Moore, Jason, heavy set on the order of Smally Paulie, got out of his pants, hard, firm and fully packed. Paulie beamed like a proud papa. "He's got wood!" After some 69 and an opportunity to eat her tanned, decaled ass, Jason sat back and allowed Moore to address his cock with a condom. Over the next 45 minutes Jason and Moore negotiated a half-dozen positions looking for that magical one that would do the trick. "I need lube," Moore yells out at one point. Martin runs frantically around the villa looking for extra lube, as if lube is the usual factor in the Playboy equation.
"Put yourself in a dream state, man. Put your self in a dream state," Paulie keeps urging Jason who looks pretty frustrated at this point and finally elects to service himself while Moore takes a position flat on her back and manipulates her orifice. After huffing and puffing and blowing her house down, Jason finally came on Barret's belly at 11:15 pm. Obviously, not one to get technical with what's precisely the definition of lost virginity, Playboy's Martin declared it a successful moon landing. "Wonderful. Wonderful," Martin kept muttering like Lawrence Welk. Martin offers Jason champagne.
"It's going to take some time for all of this to set in," Jason told the camera. "I was afraid of the New Millennium. I wanted to get it over with this century." Moore said she didn't believe Jason was a virgin for one second, suggesting he was a little too polished in certain aspects, particularly pussy-eating. "I watch a lot of porno," Jason admitted in his defense.
