TOKYO, Japan—The right-wing blogosphere, not to mention the dozens of religio-conservative newspapers and radio shows, has been going nuts recently (well, for the past 30 years or so) about alleged sex on TV—everything from VH1's Dating Naked to Discovery Channel's Naked and Afraid, both of which feature heavily pixelated tits 'n' ass, to the American Family Assn.-affiliated group One Million Moms (1MM), which most recently took off after Bayer Healthcare for its commercial for anti-fungal creme Lotrimin:
"The newest Lotrimin commercial has people talking, and not in a good way," 1MM's Monica Cole wrote in a recent email. "This current ad is inappropriate because it clearly implies m*sturbation [sic] and is aired early in the evening when children are likely watching. This is unacceptable!
"The ad features a couple lying in bed when the husband accidently wakes his wife up while he appears to be pleasuring himself. The wife asks, 'What are you doing?' as she pulls back the sheets. She then finds him using a long backscratcher to scratch an itch on his foot caused by athlete’s foot.
"Although the husband is only scratching his foot, the implications are terrible. Lotrimin, owned by Bayer HealthCare, LLC, needs to know it is not alright to air commercials with offensive content, especially when children are likely watching."
Yeah, that how low these censorship types have fallen: It's no longer what they show, it's what they don't show!
So we have to wonder whether Japan has its own homegrown censorship organizations, because a new Japanese "reality" game show, Sing What Happens, gives its audience something that The Voice and Dancing With the Stars will never offer: Sex!
Well, not explicit sex, exactly. Here's a synopsis of the show, courtesy of Independent.co.uk's Christopher Hooten:
"In this program, several candidates must sing a song they learned by heart and not to be distracted by the young lady who is beside them and is masturbating them, sometimes with her hands, sometimes using her feet.
"These candidates must carry a tune in absurd conditions, without being distracted and if possible until ejaculation. [Pictured above] is the winner of the show, who achieved a score of 74 out of 100 and won a lot of products and sex toys, gel, etc …"
Of course, no genitals are shown; the evidence of ejaculation appears to be the wet spot on the guy's pants (there appear to be no women contestants)—but isn't this exactly what American television, perhaps on one of the sexually explicit cable channels, needs?
Meanwhile, viewers can content themselves by watching the "Hysterical Literature" channel on YouTube, which features a variety of women, including adult star Stoya, reading aloud from novels, sexy and otherwise, short stories and even poems, all while being pleasured from below, unseen, by a sexual partner—and we gotta say, those orgasms look real.
So have fun, all you censorship types, trying to rid worldwide entertainment of anything remotely sexual: Rest assured, it will find an outlet—and chances are, there'll be plenty of humor along with it.
