too-few relationships, reports that he's in love for the fiorst time in 30 years with famous Scream Queen Linnea Quigley. Goldstein met Quigley through Ron Jeremy.
G. Ross: "So you're dating scream queens. Does this mean you're going to start taking showers?"
Goldstein: "When you blow me, my dick is clean."
G. Ross: "I only know what Ron Jeremy tells me."
Goldstein: "When my dick is in your mouth, is it ever dirty? It's a clean machine. Isn't it?"
G. Ross: "I don't know. When Ron talks about you he always uses the word smegma, so I wouldn't know."
Goldstein: "When Ronnie's blowing me it's going to be a clean machine...anyway, for the first time in 30 years I'm in love. Of my four wives, I only loved the second one. I've found love and she comes to Florida this Saturday to spend the week with me. Ronnie's line is great. She's died 55 times in the movies. Having sex with me, she'll die again."
G. Ross: "Between her and Jeremy it's a battle as to who's died more on the silver screen."
Goldstein: "I think Ronnie's died more, but that's also as an actor..Ronnie brought over Heidi Fleiss and Linnea. I like little delicate, sweet things, and she is. I never saw one of her movies. I'm not into horror movies, they scare me."
G. Ross: "That's what they're supposed to do, Al."
Goldstein: "I know. But horror films are what Ronnie's in..the same thing. Ronnie's dick is frightening enough...I saw Linnea in some movie with sorority sisters, she plays somebody named Spider. She's scary in that. But I remember seeing her impaled on the horns of a reindeer - in Silent Night, Deadly Night. She dies beautifully. But since I've only known her as a date, she's the sweetest thing. And she's taught me how to pronounce the word, Iowa. I've never known anyone from Iowa."
G. Ross: "Has she taught you how to scream, though?"
Goldstein: "When she sees me naked, then she really screams. All actresses are so narcissistic, but she is sweet. But she's weird, though. She's a vegetarian. But my dick is so small, she doesn't consider it meat. And she's an animal lover, so I qualify."
G. Ross: "Have you given her the famous Goldstein tongue-lashing?"
Goldstein: "Here's what I did. I rolled her on her stomach. I ate her ass for an hour and her pussy for two hours. And she never found a guy who was totally happy being there....here's hot news. Ron just negotiated with Rob Black. I'm going to eat Amber Lynn's pussy. I'm going to get $1500 from Rob to eat her, and, for the first time, I'm going to drop a load in Amber's mouth."
G. Ross: "That's a budget for a whole movie."
Goldstein: "Eat your heart out, you little dick-fuck. Now that I'm losing weight I'm so handsome. I'm going to show my dick and drop a load. And when Ronnie blows me, Amber's going to sit on my face, so I don't have to look at Ronnie."
G. Ross: "Did Ronnie get permission. Metro keeps him on a short lease."
Goldstein: "He can direct."
G. Ross: "I thought he's going to be in the scene blowing you."
Goldstein: "In the scene where I eat pussy for $1500 he will not appear...that's too gross. Don't fuck it up, Ross. I know you work for Fishbein and fact doesn't matter."
G. Ross: "Never let facts get in the way of a good story."
Goldstein: "So Linnea and I are in love. I'm a happy guy. We're going to have wonderful photos. I love the girl. She tastes so good. She's really delicious...I got a concept for you because your a writer. Do you know what a Hobson's Choice is?
G. Ross: "No choice at all."
Goldstein: "So here's my dilemma. When I roll her over and eat her ass, I'm confused. How much time to I spend eating her ass as opposed to eating her pussy."
G. Ross: "What tastes better?"
Goldstein: "They're both delicious."
G. Ross: "Personally, I stick with the ass, myself."
Goldstein: "But they're both delicious. And if the girl reaches over and holds the back of your head, and in your case, that would have to be a cadaver, if they move and grimace..."
G. Ross: "Yeah, but they don't up a fight..."
Goldstein: "But she's so delicious. She's so tasty because she's midwest, corn-fed."
G. Ross: "It's that corn-on-the-cob smell coming out of their ass."
Goldstein: "They're delicious."
