For my first adventure in Internext ’04 party coverage, I cruised by the Gay Webmasters Kick Off Bash last night, a party held in a hospitality suite in the Venetian. And lemme tell ya, there is nothing that makes a meat eating, beer guzzlin’ heterosexual feel more fat and unfashionable than being surrounded by an army of svelte, tanned, attractive gay men. Suddenly, I looked at my protruding beer gut, peered down at my dirty, stained blue jeans, realized I was out of breath simply from walking from the elevator to the room, and the reality of my situation came crashing down on me like a ton of meatloaf. An immediate lifestyle reversal commitment was as clear to me at that moment as my double cheeseburger and flurry of Jack and Coke was last night – crystal. So I left in a hurry with images of extreme workouts and vegetarian meals tattooed on my brain and had every intention of starting a new path, a path towards a long, healthy life. But then I saw an all-the-ribs-you-can-eat special and hit the buffet like a bat out of hell (Yes, you read that right, two Meatloaf jokes in one blog!). Screw it! I’m going’ out like a fat American, loud and proud.
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