It’s come to my attention that www.DirtyPigSlut.com is available. I find this hard to believe considering the abundance of creative “adult” domain names out there on the Internet. Ass2MouthSluts.com, CockBrutality.com and AnalCumJunkies.com have each been envisioned and blessed with exciting content, and yet DirtyPigSlut.com remains unclaimed. (Editor’s Note: The aforementioned sites come courtesy of the folks at MeatCash. We are fans.)
So, I ask, “What’s in a name?”
As with just about all of mainstream and the adult entertainment, the brand ‘name’ is key; the absolute launch point to grab attention and sell the consumer on the product. For the adult Internet, the website appellation remains a vital component of success, regardless if that sobriquet be silly, sexy, or just plain inane. A suitable domain is essential to the overall brand, as it becomes yet another gateway for venturesome surfers and consumers.
You happen by a website called Hot Russian Whores Dig Anal and you might just hold off on those CNN.com stock quotes. It’s no surprise to all those savvy webmasters that branding is the ticket. But during hour three of that brainstorming session when you’re thinking all the cool names have been swooped up by intuitive webmasters, a site like DirtyPigSlut.com pops up.
I’m not saying Dirty Pig Slut will win any XBiz Awards. Who knows, maybe the damn thing just makes no sense, but just the idea that a domain as wacky as this still remains unclaimed is fascinating—maybe not so much fascinating, but rather interesting in that I just came up with the title and imagined the first photo shoot, followed by the accolades on the webmaster chat boards, the orgies, and my subsequent fall from grace and eventual banishment to go work for Extreme Holly as the piss boy.
It all begins with a good domain name. And yet it’s always about the next wave of niche content—and with that comes a catchy website name to lure consumers. Maybe DirtyPigSlut.com is a couple years ahead of its time. At this point we don’t know.
But if I knew that next year’s big thing would be Asian girls sucking off Venezuelan shepherds, then, by God, I would immediately dial up GoDaddy.com toots sweet for Asian Girls Suck Off Venezuelan Shepherds.
Often the simplest names make ideal websites: Men.com sold for $1.3 million in ’03; Loans.com went for $3 million 2000; and Business.com, the biggie, sold in late ’99 for $7.5 million.
Not sure what DirtyPigSlut.com would garner, but the jury is still out.
Of course, devising adult website names prompts a race of creativity to see who can invent the most outlandish domain name. Shocking titles, at least for non-adult consumers, like those used by popular message boards Go Fuck Yourself and Just Blow Me, become part of the website’s tenor, a multi-functional brand that is more than just bad words, and instead a neon sign of panache.
Whether or not a message board called Up With Webmasters would do half as well as the aforementioned is unknown, but in the adult industry, it’s vinegar, not honey, that catches bees.
But that doesn’t mean simplicity cannot work.
I searched for Cunt.com. There is one, but it’s nothing special—just a bland page with a few links to adult sites. Traffic rank is only 668,794, so as of now it’s nothing great and surely not what I would design for a website with such a robust name. But someone out there owns it, and perhaps one day that person will make the site the cunt heaven it deserves to be—for all of us to enjoy.
In fact, every domain derivative of the word ‘cunt’ is taken. As well they should be—potent word, instant directive for what you crave. However, LiveCunt.biz, CuntSite.org, and HomeCunt.com (a personal favorite) are presently available, so maybe there’s a new genre somewhere in there for the taking.
Currently, I plan to cultivate Dirty Pig Slut and devise a scheme to make it a hot website. I figure DirtyPigSlutCash is the next logical step.
Fuck it. I wonder how much the guys from Teens For Cash would be willing to sell their site?
