Two New Adult-themed iPhone Apps Hit the Market

CUPERTINO, Calif.—Two new Apple-approved iPhone apps are now available for those seeking some serious mobile-device-delivered titillation: Seduce A SuicideGirl and Love Vibes.

Priced at just 99 cents, Seduce a SuicideGirl is the second iPhone app from the infamous Suicide Girls. The first, Flip Strip, was simple but ingenious—and, with a million downloads, quite popular. It worked like those pens that, when tilted, strip the clothes off a usually bodacious young woman.

The second outing is equally clever but far more involved, and was actually written by Anthony Zuiker, creator of the CSI franchise, and directed by Troy Miller, executive producer of Flight of the Conchords and Bored to Death.

According to the mobile entertainment site ME, “The app/game involves chatting up one of the Suicide Girl models in a comic book shop. Pick the right lines, and you get a  ‘sexy, 17+ make-out session,’ but pick the wrong ones and you get one of ten ‘humiliating put-downs.’” Knowing the Suicide Girls’ oeuvre, that is not a fate that most men want to even contemplate.

Love Vibes is more in the vein of a scientific tool with a decidedly sexual bent. Created by SparkTooth Media, the new app analyzes a person’s lovemaking abilities in real time. 

“Everyone has wondered at some point whether they are good at sex or not, and that question is exactly what creator Taylor Bayouth set out to answer with Love Vibes, the first scientific motion sensor designed and approved by Apple for the iPhone, which draws upon thousands of data points to grade lovemaking ability during the act,” claims a company press release issued Monday.

“Love Vibes proprietary software uses three separate movement receptors to analyze love making in real-time,” the release continues. “While personal preference plays a large role in determining personal sexual prowess, there are many things that people tend to agree on. Love Vibes analyzes pattern changes, range of movement, duration, stamina and peak progression to produce feedback for curious couples.”

According to Bayouth, president of SparkTooth Media, the success of Love Vibes, which costs $1.99, is all but guaranteed because of basic human nature.

Bayouth explains, "I think there are two big questions people ask themselves: ‘What is the meaning of life’ and 'Am I good in bed?' With the science we've utilized for Love Vibes, at least we can answer one of them."