LOS ANGELES—While there is a certain irony to the fact that TechCrunch of all places has launched a new column called #Love that will address "digital matters of the heart," it's downright curious that one if its first columns is a love song to porn. We say that because TechCrunch has had to address issues of sexism in the not-so-distant past, dealing with them in the politically correct way one would expect from a corporate-friendly place. It will be interesting to see if similar backpedaling takes place in reaction to John Biggs and Jordan Crook's heartfelt "#Love: Thanks, Porn," should anyone of importance complain.
Written from a singular perspective, the post begins, "As a modern married male, the times spent alone with my computer and a box of tissues are, in some ways, the best times. That is not to say the manifold pleasures of family life and the wild menagerie of mere existence aren’t amazing, but a body likes to be alone.
"For this I thank porn,' it continues. "While there is no doubt that there are dark corners of this industry and that porn, to some people, is often considered unpalatable at best and horrendous at worst, I’m willing to sing its praises, at least with moderation."
Adding an odd history lesson for its three readers unaware of the digital universe's embrace of porn, the paean continues, "It also used to be hard to make. Cameras were expensive and even with the rise of the Polaroid you were only about to produce blurry squares of titillation, washed in the muted tones of the 1970s. Good porn was expensive and the industry [reveled] in the money it made, mad kings calling for more wine and more models.
"Now," it continues, "there is a low thrum in the media, a bass note under the endless cavalcade of news and chatter and commerce. That thrum is porn, vibrating like a secret chord through our lives. But porn is not some offshoot of perversity. Porn exists because we, the human animals, exist. And that, for better or worse, is the state of affairs."
Now there is a "low thrum?" We have to wonder, do these writers not read their own site? It was, after all, a full four years ago that TechCrunch noted what everyone knew even back then, that the internet is for porn. Alas, some things must need to be repeated ad nauseam.
That said, the #Love writers remain determined to explain the inner process of fapping to porn. "How is this about love?" they inquire rhetorically. "It’s about self love, and not the narcissistic kind. It’s about escaping the relentless tug of the reproductive act. It’s about the art that is made by two people thrust together. It’s about finding out what you like and don’t like. It’s about figuring how to talk to yourself – not others – about sex. We are born wanting a few simple things and those few simple thing slowly morph into needs of real consequence. This desire is one of those. To deny it is to deny humanity."
For those who can understand that last paragraph, the next one, in which they curiously extol the virtues of Cindy Gallop may make sense, too. "There are some who are fighting the good fight. Cindy Gallop has always been a quiet inspiration and her efforts at MakeLoveNotPorn are, in a word, Herculean," they claim. "The Internet economy pretends like porn doesn’t exist and, although there are a few exceptions, the only things that get funded are 'dating' apps like Tinder, which is little more than a Hot or Not for lonely people.
"So we plod ever forward, casting off the fear and embracing the inevitable," they continue. "We move through our daily endeavors with blank faces, careful to hide the secret, solo assignations with ourselves. We look and easily find porn."
Truly, we don't have a clue what they mean to impart, but neither apparently does BetaBeat, which opined in a piece sarcastically titled "TechCrunch Writer Bravely Admits He Likes Porn" that the TechCrunch porn story "is pretty ridiculous."
Writer Jordyn Taylor adds, "Maybe we’ve just spent too much time in the dark, sticky corners of Reddit, but is a guy admitting he likes porn really worthy of its own column? It’s not exactly news that people in relationships sometimes still like watching porn, because it’s a fun thing to do when they’re alone and it’s really easy to find on the Internet. And this guy’s not even addicted to porn — he just dabbles in it now and then. His porn habits are basically the same as every other person you passed on your way to work today."
So does this mean that TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington will soon be funding porn? Will there henceforth be a profound change of heart in Silicon Valley, with hedge funds now embracing the sexual arts? Has a new day dawned?