With COVID-19 having forced nearly all sports leagues to postpone live games indefinitely, many sports commentators both national and local are now out of work. Some, like award-winning sportscaster Joe Buck, known for his play-by-play commentary in major league football and baseball games, have gotten creative and started narrating mundane daily life tasks and posting the videos on social media. But ImLive is asking, What else could they be doing to help pass the time, get their reps in and get paid for it? How about offering live commentary for live adult porn cam shows?
By its very nature pornography—especially adult camming—is a visual medium. It’s what’s on the screen that gets people off. But this obviously presents inherent problems for the blind and visually impaired who have nothing to turn to when they want to take a load off. (One might recall that Pornhub was recently sued by a hearing-impaired man for not including subtitles in its scene offerings.) As it stands, there are an estimated 22.5 million Americans who report experiencing vision loss, so the market for accessible pornography, especially on cam sites, is massive.
ImLive, an adult webcam company, has created a special section on its website for sports commentators to provide live play-by-play commentary for live adult cam shows for blind and visually impaired users. To kickstart things, ImLive has extended an offer to national sportscaster Joe Buck to provide live play-by-play commentary for cam shows—and it's offering him $1,000,000 to do it! The site is also accepting applications from other national and local sports commentators.
ImLive has extended its offer to Joe Buck in the following letter:
Dear Joe Buck,
With COVID-19 having forced nearly all sports leagues to postpone live games indefinitely, I can imagine it must be tough for sports commentators like yourself right now. I’ve seen the videos of you on social media putting the reps in and commentating over everyday things like people fixing their hair, some chickens running around the coop and someone fitting Oreos in their mouth, for example.
With you out of work for an indefinite period right now, I wanted to reach out and formally extend you an offer to continue to commentate… but over porn instead of sports. By its very nature pornography—especially adult camming—is a visual medium. It’s what’s on the screen that gets people off. But this obviously presents inherent problems for the blind and visually impaired who have nothing to turn to when they want to take a load off. As it stands, there are an estimated 22.5 million Americans who report experiencing vision loss. So the market for accessible pornography, especially on cam sites, is massive.
People have volunteered their time to record audio descriptions of pornographic videos and porn trailers for content sites. But what hasn’t been done… yet… is people providing live play-by-play commentating during a cam session between a model and a visually impaired user. And that’s where we would love for you to come in. We’d love for you, Joe, to provide live audio descriptions of what is transpiring in a session as it unfolds—just like you would for a pivotal American League Championship Series Game 7. Hearing your iconic voice tell the user that the model is taking off her top and bending over will surely provide them with some aural eroticism… and hopefully some much needed relief.
The offer we’re extending to you is for you to provide live play-by-play commentary for our adult camming site ImLive. We can offer you up to $1,000,000. You’d be required to commentate 25 live cam shows per week through the end of May, but not less than 6 weeks.
By way of background, ImLive is a leading adult webcam site that offers the largest variety of adult webcam experiences. Imlive.com serves as an online community to thousands of affiliates; the site lists over 80,000 hosts and approximately 62 million members from all around the globe. Membership is free to all over the age of 18 years.
I implore you to seriously consider our initial offer. We’d love to have your voice to help blind and visually impaired users feel… excited. We figure it’d also be a great way for you to practice for when live sports return.
If you’re interested, please reach out to me at [email protected].
Sincerely,
Adrian Stoneman
Vice President, ImLive.com
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UPDATE: And... no.
"Today - this 17th day of April in the year 2020 - I became the first sports announcer to ever reject a 7 figure offer from a porn site," he wrote on Twitter.
More here.