LOS ANGELES—With Donald Trump opening the door to public figures attaining the highest office, adult star Cherie DeVille has announced her intention to run for President in 2020, according to FuckingAwesome.com, which is sponsoring her campaign.
DeVille, who has a doctorate on her resume, enlisted Coolio to serve as Vice President due to his rise from poverty to a gangsters' paradise and his worldwide reach.
DeVille has selected Kennedy Summers as her Healthcare Secretary. Summers is a model and influencer who is also a third-year med student. She hopes to work with the Vice President in establishing Coolio Care.
Khloe Terae, a model who has traveled to more than 40 countries, has been pegged for a role as Foreign Relations Secretary. She is Canadian born and hopes to work closely with Prime Minister Trudeau. Kennedy and Khloe were chosen both for their opinions and to strike a chord with the millennial voters, according to FuckingAwesome.
Former WWE superstar Virgil is the Presidential hopeful’s personal bodyguard.
The Press Secretary is communications major and influencer, Alix Lynx.
DeVille and Coolio encourage everyone to go to PornstarforPresident.com to read about the candidate’s stances. Footage of the press conference will be made available later this week.
UPDATE: And sure enough, that video has posted here, and it's definitely worth a look. DeVille makes some excellent points on why America needs radical change at the top, and if FuckingAwesome can pull off the same support that Kick Ass Pictures' Mark Kulkis gave Mary Carey during the 2003 California Governor's race, the DeVille/Coolio team might just see some mainstream support. (Carey finished her race at #10 in a field of 135 candidates.)
For example, in the video, DeVille expounds on "the political mess that we as Americans have found ourselves in," stating, "Like millions of other Americans just like you, I have had enough. I am tired of being misrepresented and I am tired of being lied to by the political leaders... We were promised a change for the better in 2016. That promise has been broken." But DeVille makes a promise of her own: "We will make America fucking awesome again!"
DeVille then introduces running mate Coolio, whom she credits with having gotten her into the race in the first place.
"I am truly the voice of the voiceless," the Grammy winner intones. "I have traveled every single state in this great country and almost every country of this mixed, diverse world, and I've met great Americans from all walks of life, all shapes, all sizes, all colors and all beliefs—and if we act as one, we can change the world, we can better the world. Hell, in 2020, we can shock the world!"
Also on hand are DeVille's cabinet picks, Kennedy Summers and Khloe Terae, "head of security" Virgil—and who wouldn't prefer Alix Lynx as Press Seccretary to Sean Spicer or Sarah Sanders?
Before it's over, DeVille has expressed her thoughts on climate change—"Pulling out of the Paris Accord is a disaster"—and Coolio has come out for universal healthcare, to be dubbed CoolioCare.
Just how serious the DeVille presidential run is may be answered by Coolio's final statement: "We're making it fun, no doubt [but] at the core of what we're doing, this is absolutely real."
And if it is a joke, they're doing a damned good job of it!
