The game is changing again, have you noticed?
I haven’t personally had a news outlet since May 2019—I decided it was time to forsake all mainstream social media and join up with AVN Stars. I haven’t looked back, I don’t regret it and I still hear what’s going on.
It’s been tempting to read the news more again, what with misinformation running rampant and the narrow scope and capacity of most people who give it their undivided, dedicated, almost-religious attention. What the future holds has always been anyone’s guess. I can’t offer solutions for anyone else, let alone myself ... what worked for me in the past isn’t even optional now. I can’t go strip for fast cash if I need to, or even advise it anymore.
What I can offer, unfortunately, is experience with loss and isolation. I know I’m not the only one who’s ever struggled ... I also know I’ve come out of my struggles with my mental and emotional fortitude and my integrity not only intact but strengthened. Losing all my success, progress and possessions more times than I can count—didn’t break me, or turn me into a piece of shit. Being homeless, living out of my vehicle and stripping to survive, for over a year and a half straight—didn’t break me, or turn me into a piece of shit. Nor did spending accumulative years isolated in my various sublet rooms to avoid the many random sketch roommates I’ve lived with. I think my point is made and I’m not about to indulge the shitty details of my life. I just wanted to clarify that I’m coming from a place of first-hand knowledge.
It’s been blowing my mind lately, how much almost a decade of struggling now feels like practice and a head-start. It’s also been pretty trippy that being an introvert and a hermit are now an advantage ... I don’t want it to be like this for anyone. It is not my intention to diminish or negate anyone’s reality or suffering with this article. Allow me to dispense the mindsets that have helped me keep my head on straight, in hopes that they will help someone else.
Philosophy Class with Professor Blake—is in session ... pay attention class!
First of all, breathe ... and please for the love of all things holy, turn off the TV if you haven’t. I need you all to remember something crucial: your quality of life (both internal and external) and that of those around you. Neither success nor struggle can be taken with us when we die. Inner contentment matters, right now. Right NOW is all we have.
Practice by simplifying life; go back to the basics:
*You are alive, breathing what is likely to be some of the cleaner air on the planet, depending where you live.
*You have clean water, good food, nice clothes, new shoes, likely still some semblance of a roof.
*Maybe you have hobbies or pets to distract you and give you joy ... my point is “count your blessings.”
Gratitude for and acknowledgment of what is going right will improve your perspective. Counting your privileges and advantages as well as what has been going right up until things got hard helps perspective. Despite all my crazy struggles I acknowledge that I have had a damn good life. I’ve been able to see, do and connoisseur very many things. I wasn’t sorry for it then and I’m not sorry now. I am thankful I’ve had the privilege to know what a “good” life feels like at all. I live benevolently toward others, true to myself and boldly, to honor those who would but cannot…
Focus on what can be done:
*Maybe it’s earning money, maybe not.
*Start a garden to supplement food for the coming summer months ... or winter.
*Fortify your home or community with available supplies and resources.
*Hygiene is ALWAYS good to fine tune—there’s always more detail work to be done—I’ve worked under an HD cam for 10 years, trust me on this one!
*Help someone else with a tangible need. Reach out for help if you’re feeling stumped or scrambled.
*Create something. Especially if it’s worth contributing outwardly.
*Reduce any bills or expenses that you can.
*Stretch. Stay on top of how you feel in your body, hydrate. To each their own best choices and options. Just try to stay busy and productive. Also, it’s okay to bide your time. Sometimes there’s nothing important to do and that’s going to happen.
*Pace yourself.
*Make task-calendars.
The playing field is leveling out again in a weird way—you can do everything right and still not win. Just enjoy and take your time.
Try not to panic. I hope it never comes to this for anyone, but remember that it actually takes very little food or water for a human to skirt by on and survive. Most of the “needs” begging at you currently are likely “first-world” needs, not actual end-game needs.
Try to decipher the urgency. Rethink your priorities. Consider what truly matters to you most in life, and what you need to do to protect it in a changing world. Practice sitting with yourself. Practice being comfortable alone. Develop a relationship with your internal state. Reduce forking over your precious, fleeting time and attention to any media—any influencers of your mind and emotions. Watch how you treat and speak to people in times like this. Keep yourself in check. That’s a big one. Encourage others to do the same. Remember that at the end of the day, the only thing that we have ever had any control over, is ourselves. It’s only once we apply the art of self control that we can begin to affect our surroundings and circumstances in ways that we would intend or prefer. When we aren’t in control we say and do things we don’t mean or even step on or hurt others ... or worse, others take control of us.
I’m starting to feel ridiculous typing this because so much is up in the air, so much is at stake for everyone. We’re all in the same boat. I’m not trying to offend anyone or sound like some ignorant modern guru ... this is all affecting me negatively as well. Things can get stupid really fast when societies start to falter. This whole thing is a disaster concoction. Instincts are being triggered. I’m overhearing bad shit on the news like families killing each other off, therapy help lines being posted ... fuck, man. Fear’s spreading faster than corona. People are out here losing their entire minds.
Now more than ever, we need to be practicing and applying self control, as well as encouraging and respecting it in others. Stress kills. Stress can compromise the immune system. Responding to stress as a challenge instead of an abysmal disadvantage can make all the difference when it comes to the longevity and vitality of an individual.
I’m calling on everyone to convert this time of distress into an opportunity to take back control of our own minds and dig deeper. Spare time and isolation are for self-improvement. Times of loss and fear remind us what’s been good and what matters most. This shit sucks and I hope it’s over with sooner than not. Let’s focus on us and ours in ways that are constructive.
To any of my industry peers and my supporters: if you’re struggling with the stress of it all, my DM’s are always open. That leads me to the next front of this battle: our interactions with each other online. Personally, I think it’s a good time to express even more gratitude for our adult entertainer workforce, as well as our supporters. Big taboo in femdom apparently, saying “thank you.” I’m so over it.
I can adjust and adapt to a changing industry. Right now, I’m seeing massive job losses. People who have been there for me. People who have been tipping me for years. I don’t really care if they’re my submissive guys, or my neutral guys, I’m thanking each one for tipping me during times of global turmoil. This is about human connection. I’m not contributing to this trend of destabilizing a morale and mind. Nor am I vilifying fetish workers! These very grown-ass men y’all are “dominating” still possess control over the tip button ... we’ve all noticed where this gets abusive—on both sides. I just think it’s relevant to make note of the loyalty, the generosity, and the dedication—we’re all showing up, and doing our part.
Can we also maybe not act threatened or intimidated by the flood of new sex workers hoping to buffer their losses? This has always been survival work for me. They have a right and a claim to their place here, too. There’s no such thing as competition in an industry built on preferences, genuine connections, good business and hard work. They are threatened. They are intimidated. Don’t add to their stress. Gross. If you must interact with the fresh meat, let it be helpful or at the very least, kind. Remember that our constructive influence on them can help uphold the integrity of the industry standards that we all work so hard on. Enough pressure can reveal a person’s defaults. What are yours? Do you need to wire new cognitive habits for yourself? Are you acting from a place of defensive fear? A place of love ... or unconditional love? Have you comprehended or considered the difference?
Pressure makes or breaks a person but each of us always has a choice. Each of us can decide how and who we want to be in this world—regardless of feeling powerless, desperate or afraid. How one chooses to act under pressure speaks chapters of their character and integrity. We’re all finding ourselves faced with a challenge, as well as the time and solitude necessary to handle it with tact. Such providence is uncommon. There is so much that we now have the spare time to learn and do. We can come out of this more refined and more dignified. Let’s all practice patience, self-discipline, and showing our best selves outward at any given time. As much as I can be, I’m here for you babes.
Eden Blake has been a webcam model since 2010. Follow her on AVN Stars at @edenblake
