This article originally ran in the March 2017 issue of AVN magazine. Click here for a copy of the digital edition.
Hypnosis is a form of mind control used to alter someone’s state of consciousness. Used in a sexual context, the goal of “Erotic Hypnosis” is to reduce inhibitions, eliminate shame and guilt, and increase sexual arousal by surrendering to sexual pleasure. Once the shame and guilt are gone, feel free to do the weird shit.
Also called “Hypno Sex,” the practice is used for a range of activities, including picking up girls, delaying premature ejaculation, preparing mentally for hardcore BDSM, and making girls have “forced orgasms” on cue.
In the 1950s, Milton Erickson, an American psychiatrist who combined family therapy with hypnosis, developed his own approach known as “Ericksonian hypnotherapy,” which combined informal conversation with complex language combinations. Years later, the “PUAs,” or “Pick Up Artists,” modeled their “work” after his. They have deliberately corrupted the idea of strategic mind control to get laid, which is theoretically genius, if you’re a creepy guy. It’s perfect for dorks who would rather hypnotize someone than learn how to charm them.
Hypnosis can be used to seduce someone you don’t know or relax someone you do.
Sex therapists use hypnosis in couples counseling to heighten sexual awareness and reduce performance problems, such as premature ejaculation, or trouble keeping it up for as long as he needs to. Dr. Ava Cadell, author of Neuroloveology, and founder of the Loveology University, creates short hypnosis scripts for couples to read to each other.
“Stress and anxiety manifests itself as premature ejaculation,” she explains. “Anxiety creates release of adrenaline from the adrenal gland that constricts the blood vessels, including those that lead to the penis,” she says.
The latest trend in erotic hypnosis is YouTube videos. Dozens of sites promising a “touch-free orgasm” have popped up like boners, promising an “orgasm on demand” by just listening and relaxing. But Dr. Cadell says, “People should be cautious and go to a certified hypnotherapist in order to be monitored and avoid any side effects, such as nausea, panic attacks, creation of false memories, dizziness or other risks.” Also, a hypnosis strobe in a video can set off someone’s epilepsy, so don’t try this at home.
Many of the sites feature a retro-looking sci-fi hypnotic spiral and a sexy woman’s voice instructing the listener to relax and breath. “An energy surges as the voice you hear makes your body tingle,” says one. Another video promising a “hands free orgasm” by a woman who performs her act as entertainment on cruise ships says, “Your fear of the unknown is replaced with the cycling energy. You now fully submit to the suggestion of intense orgasms.” You are getting horny.
Hypnosis in general changes someone’s beliefs and creates a “new belief.” Dr. Cadell, herself a certified hypnotherapist, says, “To eliminate negative thoughts that create stress and anxiety, you must disconnect your mind from your body.”
While Dr. Cadell and other sex therapists use principles of hypnosis to help couples eliminate stress and become more relaxed for sex, hypnosis also has some interesting applications in the BDSM world.
For those into hardcore bondage and submission, the hypnosis is part of the “session” that has a pre-written “script” of (always) consensual activities. For people skilled at this, the “Master” or Dominatrix artfully and skillfully dominates the submissive while sexually teasing him or her so the submissive wants more. Hypnosis goes well with the power exchange that occurs in an extreme, kinky, and dominant/submissive sexual scenario. I swear, when you’re getting tied up in elaborate rope bondage with a gag ball stuck in your mouth and nipple clamps that are too tight, it always helps to be hypnotized.
A submissive of a dominant who trains “adult slaves” in the BDSM lifestyle told me that “hypnosis separates the dominant and submissive,” putting them in their separate spaces as two beings. One controls the other as the submissive goes into what she calls “the sub space.”
For women the dynamic is a bit different. For us, it’s not so much about performance as it is about relaxation. The thrill of BDSM is for one person to completely dominate another person for mutual sexual pleasure. For extreme bondage players where one person is completely immobilized, hypnosis helps the person relax into a new psychological mindset.
Guys who have a “hypnosis fetish” are often amateur or professional hypnotists (“hypnodommes”) who talk women into a touchless orgasm through a voice-controlled hypnosis ritual. The excitement here is the mental control rather than the physical. One “Hypno Daddy” called “Cuff’s Master” who uses hypnotism in his sexual scenarios explains his ritual: “I start with a progressive relaxation exercise, and then suggest feelings of pleasure. I then suggest she’s being tickled. This leads to her taking off her clothes as I suggest that she’s feeling the best oral sex of her life. I then have her touch her body, continuing the erotic buildup. I continue to gradually build up to her orgasm, initially denying the release. I then make her have an orgasm on command. I then turn her into a chicken, and have her dance to sexy music. I ‘freeze’ her mid-dance, and trigger another orgasm. I have her tell me her sexual fantasies. I then have her masturbate while I explore her fantasies while I play with her some more and she has more orgasms.”
The only guilt here might be turning someone into a chicken.
Anka Radakovich is a legendary sex columnist who wrote a groundbreaking column for Details magazine. Currently she writes for British GQ and Sexpert.com. She is the author of three books, including her newest, The Wild Girls Club, Part 2. She has appeared multiple times on TV talk shows, including eight appearances with Conan O’Brien. She is also a certified sexologist. We are thrilled to have her as a contributor. Follow Anka Radakovich on Twitter: @ankarad.
