Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on Sportsheets’ blog at Sportsheets.com. It is reprinted here with permission.
It's Christmas Eve. The fireplace is crackling, or, at least, you have the Yule Log channel going (I recommend the one where Nick Offerman sips whiskey for an hour). You're cuddling with your significant other, activities done for the day, A Very She & Him Christmas spinning on the record player. If there are kids, they're in bed, dreaming of sugarplums or XBoxes. And you're exchanging gifts.
A box trades hands. A flurry of unwrapping is followed by an indrawn breath, and a mutual, expectant silence. With that exchange, a relationship has entered another level, and is ready to go exploring. Because this is the Christmas you gave bondage gifts. (And did the radio just switch over to The Nutcracker? Weird.)
Bondage gifts make for great holiday sex, because they are so unexpected, so thrilling, and so far removed from the sterile safety that normally comes with year-end consumerism. Bondage gifts are raw and exciting and anything but normal.
When you give someone a gift like that, you aren't just saying, “Here's a gift. I hope you like it.” You're saying, “I want you. And I'm going to have you. We’re going to have each other.”
The holidays are about bringing people closer together. Well, sex is pretty great at doing just that, and bondage gifts will help couples become closer, improving and heightening their sex all year.
Bondage Gifts Can Be for Any Couple
If you're initially hesitant, let me just say that I get it. I understand why some people might be reluctant to introduce bondage into the bedroom-there is still a misplaced stigma about the kinds of people who are “into bondage,” as if it is a weird thing. That couldn't be further from the truth.
Bondage is a mutual exchange of trust. I trust you'll treat me right. I trust you will be honest with me. I trust we can have a conversation about desire, fantasies, and limits. I trust I can open myself up to you.
That's what bondage really is. It's about opening yourself up not just to experience, but to your partner. There is a mutual beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable, both physically and emotionally. It's exciting to be blindfolded, and an honor to be entrusted with that responsibility.
The Best Bondage Gifts for a Sexy Holiday
So, you've decided that this Christmas you'll skip the socks and step up the sex. Great call! We endorse that (while still being overall fans of socks). But what to get? That depends where you are with bondage.
Beginners
Your first bondage gifts don't have to be a full gimp suit complete with a ball stretcher (partly because those two don't go together that well). You can, and most likely should, start slowly. Remember: it is about mutual communication. If you're just getting started, ease into it (so to speak) with these:
* Sweet Punishment Kit: Soft handcuffs, vegan leather soft paddle, and of course a blindfold. The basics, with nothing too intense. It also comes with a Dominant/Submissive contract outlining the responsibilities of the dom and the sub. It's like the Rules of Poker in a deck of cards, only about bondage play. (So: better.)
* Nipple clamps: An introduction to the pleasures of pain, these are great for beginners because they are also easy to remove quickly if need be. It's important to note that they don't have to be used exclusively on nipples. There are sensitive parts on both male and female bodies where they can be used, and where a little pinch can go a long way.
* Leash and Collar: Here's the thing about a leash and collar: it's fun. Chances are you'll be laughing at first, and then will get into it, and will probably laugh some more. It is possible to be very serious about a leash-based S&M relationship, but for beginners, it can be a way to be goofy and recognize that sex, even (especially) bondage sex, is supposed to be fun.
Intermediate
You've had clamped nipples and some swats at sensitive areas. You're ready to move forward. So what's next? Remembering that you can combine any and all of these, here are some next-level bondage toys.
* Leather Paddle: This particular paddle has fur on it, to slightly lessen the sting, but make no mistake: you'll feel this. Your partner will certainly feel it when you use it to slap their behind or their balls. How hard is, as always, up to both of you.
* Door Jam Cuffs: Being up against a wall with your arms free to move but only a little is wildly erotic and oddly liberating. Your partner does all the work, including that of making sure your captivity is rewarded with pleasure.
* The Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: If you're ready to incorporate anal beads, a flogger, metal handcuffs, and more, this amazing, all-in-one S&M kit is ready for you. Really, it's the perfect Christmas gift for any couple that feels comfortable with one another.
Advanced
You've tried a lot of the toys. Now you're ready for a full-on bondage experience. Here are a few ways to play.
* The Sportsheet: Queen or king size, these are sheets outfitted with comfortable, safe, and flexible bondage equipment that allow you to try new bondge positions. They are convenient, and adjustable to how you want to play, offering you endless options. If you are ready to be completely bound, at the mercy of your lover, then the Sportsheet is the ultimate experience.
* Golden Opportunities: Have total control over the man in your life. This set comes with a cock ring attached to nipple clamps, a mini-vibrator, and a prostate stimulation tool that you wear like a set of knuckles. And when they are all being used at once? It's bondage without any ties: you're controlling pain and pleasure.
* Hogtie: What can your partner do to you when your hands are tied to your legs behind your back? Anything they want.
Giving the Gift of Sex This Christmas
In my experience, the best way to give these gifts is as a surprise. Maybe after all the other ones are opened, and they're like Ralphie in A Christmas Story: happy, but wanting that Red Ryder gun. And then... hey, is there something else behind the tree? I think there is!
Only you aren't a kid. And you don't want a toy gun. You want something real, and that's a real connection with your partner. So leave it behind the tree. Put it in the bottom of a stocking. Give it to them on Christmas Eve, when you are relaxing before the chaos of the next day.
The holidays are all about establishing a connection with people. These are often people we only see occasionally, but why not create a closer and tighter connection with the person closest to you? And maybe do that by making things much tighter?
Bondage, as it should, will make you bond. And that's the best gift of all.
