CYBERSPACE—“Your nut is valuable” and “Your orgasm matters” are the slogans of DVPassion, but the root of everything Laydee Vee and D.H. Black teach comes down to love. The Atlanta-based couple has been married for 16 years, and in 2009 they launched DVPassion, a coaching business for individuals and couples offering guidance on how to increase the intimacy and love in their lives.
“Love is the highest form of understanding—in order to love someone you have to understand them,” explained Black. The pair has helped hundreds of other couples and individuals to confront the challenges and obstacles they've faced in their own bedrooms. Dee and Vee are not only able to relate to those they coach, but they say they provide a blueprint to allow people to follow their passions for greater love experiences. DVPassion’s consultations are highly sought after, and the business has grown beyond their coaching to include workshops, public speaking, seminars, a national radio show and a sex-positive clothing line.
Coming from opposite but equally restrictive backgrounds, the pair married within three months of meeting. Vee was raised in the church, and Black comes from a background of West Indian culture. “We said, lets create our own happy space, with religion, with marriage, with our kids,” explained Vee.
Becoming sexperts was never the goal, or even part of the original conversation. A year into their marriage, the couple relocated from New York to Georgia.
“It started with just a regular conversation, and it escalated from there,” Black said. “Going from ‘What do you think about opening our marriage?’ to ‘What about us teaching?’”
Vee has identified as bisexual since the age of 12, as chronicled in her first book The Bi in Me: The Dichotomy of Laydee Vee, which is available on Amazon. This is something she made clear to Black from the beginning of their relationship. “We knew the sex was great, but I brought up the idea of bringing feminine energy into the bedroom … [Black] said, ‘Okay, is this what you want, is this what you enjoy?’ He didn’t judge me. He didn’t see this as a golden ticket to a threesome. It wasn’t like other relationships.”
They both attest to having “freaky” roots, despite not being exposed to the idea of alternative lifestyles growing up. While it was not something that was immediately understood, the principles of communication and respect have led to a level of openness with their family that had never existed prior to them opening up about their sex lives.
“Once we started, I think it was a shock a little bit for those we did disclose the information to. A lot of our friends who ended up being our best friends, we met inside the lifestyle, but once we started the business aspect, our family started taking it a little bit more seriously,” Vee reflects.
DVPassion has attracted a considerable amount of mainstream attention—including being profiled on CNN's "This Is Life With Lisa Ling" and in a recent issue of NY MAG—yet Vee and Black are eminently accessible, treating coaching sessions like conversations with friends.
“We teach people how to incorporate sex into their regular schedule … it's kind of hard to actually stay consistent with sex,” said Vee. When meeting with DVPassion, “Expect education for adults … we gonna be classy, and we definitely are going to give you an experience."
Added the jovial Black, “You may get face-sitting, you may get a class on being bisexual, how to have a threesome without fucking up your relationship, it just depends on what your mind is into, what do you think you’re into.”
“And just remember, we are regular people,” Vee assured.
To underscore that point, she related, “One time when COVID first started, I was going into the supermarket, this lady first stopped me and was like, ‘I know you, I really know you, you’re Lady Vee!’ She was like, ‘Yes, I have the shirt, My Orgasm Matters,’ and that felt good, that people recognize us but they actually follow us, they understand what we say and they feel us.”
Vee said she and Black welcome people who spot the recognizable pair in public to say hello—noting that they have only had one uncomfortable situation ever—but capped it with the gentle caveat that “when we are out with our kids, say hey, but don’t ask for sex advice.”
“Don’t be creepy,” Black added.
Balancing having a public sex life while being parents is a skill that has come in handy during COVID, the couple asserted, as many of their clients faced new challenges. Vee assures that DVPassion is equipped to handle the increased commonality in not knowing “how to be consistent with sex while everyone is home without their kids being creeped out.”
And, while they don’t divulge too much to their children, they have the conversations their parents didn’t, and help other parents tackle the challenge as well.
“We have a talk with parents and kids about consent. Stuff that goes on during sex and that consent is an ongoing conversation during sex. We teach about how to interact with one another, in a conversation, so it feels normal,” Black assures.
In the same vein, Black said that one of the most powerful lessons they try to pass along is, “No does not mean no forever. No is not always a bad thing, be honest, you never know. But a no is said for a reason, and that reason is something you have to work through.”
The couple empowers through teaching individuals “the value of their voice,” Vee imparted. “We teach them that people without voices can't be heard. You have to speak up and say what’s on your mind. Get out your shell, no one is gonna bite you, we’re all grown ... unless you ask.” She stresses that anyone can live the life they want, noting the key is, “Finding a community to make you happy. There is a community that will accept you, there’s a community for everyone.”
Black interjects that, especially during this digital renaissance, “The importance [is] finding the right platform to find your tribe.” For those who have no clue where to begin, DVPassion provides free 15-minute consultations.
“We keep a safe space. We’re here to help you, we’re here to help you get a nut, because its valuable,” Vee summarized.
Despite the pandemic, DVPassion has been busier than ever. While they look forward to returning to some in-person events, with the intent to tour the world, the two have been pleasantly surprised with the increased connectivity levels they have experienced with 100 percent of their business taking place online over the past year.
Outside of upcoming endeavors including Vee’s second book (stay turned on social for updates), new classes on topics such as anal play, and receiving their certification in clinical sexology, the couple said their bucket list includes “sex on every balcony that we can find, go to a hotel each month just to have us time, and find balconies!”
Above all, the DVPassion duo purports that they can make even the most cynical person believe in love.
“Love is beautiful,” offered Vee. “It’s amazing. It’s wonderful to give it and receive it, so why not give it to the world? Love is not negotiable, it's required.”
Connect with DVPassion via their site, Twitter, Instagram and OnlyFans.
