Can’t Cum on Cue? This Sperm Extractor Might Help

BEIJING, China—Hate the idea of a cold, sterile room to make your deposit to the sperm bank? Struggling with premature ejaculation issues? Have an extra 13 grand sitting around? Then the Jiangsu Sanwe Medical Science and Technology Center may have something for you.

The SW-3701 sperm collector was developed for use in hospitals and clinics “where human sperm may be required on the spot, but where conservative social norms make ‘while they wait’ masturbation a difficult process,” BoingBoing.net reports.

The device, which sells for $13,000, is designed to mimic a vagina using vibration, sucking and more to make sperm collection fast and safe. Alternatively, the SW-3701 can help train and desensitize the penis to assist with premature ejaculation.

So if you have the means, apparently you can forgo a traditional stroker or even an Autoblow and go clinical and high-tech, and enjoy the fact—as the product’s description reads—you own “the best clinical equipment of sperm collection.”