LOS ANGELES—In honor of National Masturbation Month, which spans the 31 days of May, Trigg Laboratories makers of Wet personal lubricants, is sponsoring a totally self-indulgent euphemism contest. Think up the cleverest term for the act of “self love” and win a free bottle of Wet Platinum lubricant, a $13.99 value.
How was National Masturbation Month fondled … uh, founded … in the first place? It was started in 1995 in San Francisco by the Good Vibrations retail store in response to the forced resignation of then U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who stated after the UN World AIDS Day in 1994 that masturbation is “something that is part of human sexuality and part of something that perhaps should be taught.”
Thank goodness, times have changed. According to New York psychiatrist and sex therapist Madeleine Castellanis, MD, “Masturbation has been a part of human history as long as we have been human, and it is a useful activity that provides many benefits to both the individual and relationships as well. It is an enjoyable sexual activity that does not carry any risk for either pregnancy or sexually transmitted illness.”
So now that’s settled, Wet is offering a few traditional euphemisms to prime the pump for the contest: spank the monkey; flog the dolphin; jerkin’ the gerkin; hit the slit; rub the nub; tickle the taco … you get the idea.
Send in your best names for the act and you might win some free lube from Wet to make your personal pole dance even more enjoyable.
For more information, visit StaysWetLonger.com.
