STOCKHOLM, Sweden—Is that an ancient antler in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Fox News is reporting that archaeologists in Sweden turned up an object last week that resembles a very erect penis. The “tool” was made from antler bone and judged to be about 6,000 years old, but scientists are baffled on what they object was used for.
Really? The piece is hard, thick and long. And, in our opinion, the most telling detail that makes us believe it was an old-school dildo is the mushroom-type cap at the tip. Is it just us? Are we the only ones who see it?
"Your mind and my mind wanders away to make this interpretation about what it looks like – for you and me, it signals this erected-penis-like shape," archaeologist Gšran Gruber of the National Heritage Board in Sweden, who worked on the excavation, told news outlets. "But if that's the way the Stone Age people thought about it, I can't say."
(Again, we ask, “Really?”)
According to the FoxNews.com report, the discovery is so recent, Gruber said the discovery is so fresh, there hasn't been enough time to submit the finding for publication in a scientific journal, though the researchers plan to.
The smarty-pants science types seem to think the discovery is significant, because nothing like it has been found in similar excavation sites in Europe or Scandinavia, and traditionally fertility symbols found are centered around the female, not the male.
Another Swedish archaeologist, Martin Rundkvist, cautioned that there were "many non-dildoish uses for which it may have been intended."
Still, he wrote on his blog, "without doubt anyone alive at the time of its making would have seen the penile similarities just as easily as we do today. If it is actually a pressure-flaker for fine flint knapping, then this would tell us something about how such work was conceptualized in terms of gender."
Forget the pressure-flaker theory … we prefer the idea that ancient Olga was finding her groove.
