Christians Like Sex Too

RIVERSIDE, Calif.While it’s true some Christians are a little uptight when it comes to doing the deed, there are a few who like to get their freak on. But if they wanted a toy or game to spice things up when the lights went out, what options did they have?

Enter, a new website designed to show that “Christian sex should be spicy and exhilarating for [a] married man and woman as God intended according to His design.”

“Traditionally, the shopping experience for sex toy products can be overwhelming, awkward, embarrassing, and is plagued with a plethora of pornographic imagery,” the company said in a press release. “Christian Love Toys solves this by not selling any pornography or products with pornographic packaging.”

The site does promise to ship all orders discreetly, in nondescript, plain brown packaging.

So what sorts of toys are appropriate for Christian singles who want to let their hair down? Everything from the Hitachi Magic Wand and massage oils to G-spot pleasers and rubber ticklers.

“Christian Love Toys encourages all married couples to review Site Guidelines before and during their online shopping experience,” the site reads. “The Site Guidelines provide information on how to browse the selection of love toys and marital aids, while still appropriately serving and submitting to God and spouse.”

Yes, because God said, “Thou shalt not have any other gods before me … but thou shalt use a vibrator to praise my name.”

For more information, visit