LOS ANGELES - Paul Little, alias Max Hardcore writes:
Is there anybody out there?
Just honk if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?
Oh, there you are. Hi, my name is Max Hardcore, and I am a character from the movies. I'm not a real person, although some people think I am, because I'm such a vicious villain who disposes of defenseless damsels by tying them to the railroad tracks. But now they put the person who plays me in prison for things I did to Tess Trueheart on the television!
So I'm out of a job, and well, I don't mean to whine or anything, what with so many real people laid off and all - but I do have a lot of fans who I'm quite sure are missing me right now this very moment and can't wait until I return to action! It's very boring in here, and not nearly enough room for the two of us. I'm not sure why, but I feel bad for this guy, However, I was only doing what the writer wrote that I should do. I'd like to help him somehow, but I don't have a script and just don't know which way to turn. Oh, I see that he's starting to write something ... maybe it's a new story for me!
They locked me up because I wouldn't bow down to their gods.
... Ah, crap! It looks like he's just writing down some random thoughts.
They locked me up because I wouldn't say the pledge of allegiance.
... I really miss my friends in here - Buttman, Gazzman, Hatman ...
They locked me up because I wouldn't drive their shitty cars or go the speed limit!
... I'm sure they all wonder what has happened to me!
They locked me up because I held up a mirror and exposed their hypocrisy!
... I'd call them if I could get to a phone.
They locked me up for playing guitar too loud & having too much fun with Layla!
... Shit! I'm going nuts in here. He's just lying on this skinny bunk-bed again, looking out his skinnier little window, just watching the world pass me by! I can easily get out through that narrow opening and find someone else, but there's no way this body is going to get through that one.
I guess I'll just have to find another one to play me. I just hope they don't put him in prison too!
Editor's Note: Seriously, Paul Little's trial, which lasted for two weeks, cost a staggering sum, and his ongoing appeal, which is being fought hard and brutally by the Justice Department , is only adding to the debts incurred in his fight for freedom.
To contribute to the "Max Hardcore Defense Fund" (not an official organization), please send checks to: Sirkin Pinales & Schwartz LLP, 920 Fourth & Race Tower, 105 West 4th St., Cincinnati, OH 45202-2726. PayPal is also accepted; recipient: [email protected] Or to donate with credit or debit card, call 513-721-4876.