Daniels Decides Not to Run for Louisiana Senate Seat

LAS VEGAS, Nev.—Adult film star Stormy Daniels has decided not to challenge Republican incumbent David Vitter for his Louisiana Senate seat, according to Politico, which published a planned Tax Day announcement issued by Daniels’ team.

The reason is money, the announcement explains, or a relative lack thereof.

"The simple fact that David Vitter has $5 million in his bank account pretty much says it all,” the Wicked Pictures star said. “Against that sheer accumulation of special-interest dollars, I have no legitimate means of winning a race for the United States Senate under these circumstances. As a businesswoman, I know that better than anyone.”

Without explaining what could have happened financially between last week, when she teased the GOP with her announcement that she was becoming a Republican and still considering a run, and today, the star simply admitted that she is, for all intents and purposes, campaign broke.

"I am not running for the U.S. Senate because I am an adult entertainment star. I am not running for the U.S. Senate for the same reason that so many dedicated patriots do not run—I can’t afford it,” she explained. “On this day in particular, we should all take time to reflect on the loss to our country that comes from the sad fact that those who may truly desire to contribute to our society are barred by those who only seek to unjustly profit off it.

“And while I will not be participating in this campaign,” she continued, “I do not expect to go quietly into the good night. I will be looking for opportunities to fight for fairness for hardworking people everywhere. And I will continue to talk about the need for fiscal and personal responsibility. We will keep fighting so that one day the voices of the dishwashers, cashiers, bus drivers and porn stars will be heard just as loudly as those of the lawyer, the banker and the insurance company executive. This is my pledge. This is our fight."

Okay, Stormy sounded eerily like the ex-governor of Alaska there for a second. Could there be a competing talk show in the works? Or a series of politically inspired porn parodies with a serious message embedded for the plain folk? The Tea-bagging Express, anyone?

If Stormy stands behind her words this time and actually does try to fight for the rights of “dishwashers, cashiers, bus drivers and porn stars,” can you even begin to imagine the size of the audience when she meets up for the inevitable three-way with Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann?