CA Trans Kids Now Have Rights—And Not Everybody's Happy

JESUSLAND—When it comes to sexual identity, the "nature versus nurture" argument takes center stage, though considering who's come out as gay over the past few years—Republican National Committee chairman Ken Mehlman, basketballer Jason Collins, CNN anchors Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon, actors Jim Parsons, Cynthia Nixon, NPH, etc., etc., etc.—there can be little doubt that the "nature" side has won—and that's led to a victory for the gender that scares conservative religious folks shitless. We refer, of course, to transgender.

It's apparently that "nature" realization that's given rise to California Assembly Bill 1266, signed by Gov. Brown on August 12, which prohibits public school administrators and other personnel from discriminating against school children on the basis of "gender, gender identity and gender expression," and requires that all students "be permitted to participate in sex-segregated school programs and activities, including athletic teams and competitions, and use facilities consistent with his or her gender identity, irrespective of the gender listed on the pupil’s records."

Cue the moral outrage, paranoia and abject, mind-shattering fear.

"This law takes away students' privacy rights, puts our children at risk, and limits the authority of local school districts," claimed Karen England, Executive Director of the conservative Capitol Resource Institute. "AB 1266 does not require proof for students who claim to have gender identity issues so the school administrators will have to take the child on his or her word when they want to use the facilities of the opposite sex."

Because, of course, kids with cocks are always dressing up like girls just so they can sneak into the girls' locker room or dormitory and catch a glimpse of some cooter, just like those kids in that '80s movie Private School!

But wait; it's even worse than that!

"Jerry Brown and the Democrats have targeted every kid in public school with gender-bending brainwashing," charged Randy Thomasson, president of, a conservative "family issues" organization. "Fortunately, parents can protect their children from the insanity of biological boys in girls' restrooms and girls' showers and biological girls in boys' restrooms and boys' showers by exiting the dysfunctional, immoral public schools for homeschooling and solid church schools."

Right! Because "Lord" knows, if they play their cards right, no male will ever see tits and a pussy, and no female will ever see a cock, until they're married in a church, and on their wedding night, undress in their respective closets and fuck each other silly under the covers with the lights out!

That's surely what way-right-wing radio talker Penna Dexter must have been thinking when she wrote on the Baptist Press "news" site that, "Rather than enable gender identity disorder in a child, Proverbs 22:6 says we should train each child 'in the way he should go.' Sometimes it is wisest to wait until 'he is old' to see the fruit." (We're guessing she's thinking of the Lenny Bruce routine "How to Relax Colored People at Parties," where Bruce describes a black guy's cock as "a baby's arm holding an apple"—or maybe that kid in Revenge of the Nerds who kept exclaiming, "Hair pie! Hair pie!")

Needless to say, Fox News personalities had to get into the act.

"Five-year-olds are now exposed to—I don’t know—'What is transgender? Hey mommy, what is transgender? Am I transgender?'" asked Eric Bolling, host of the Fox Business Channel show Cashin' In, adding that passage of the bill was "very scary, slippery slope."

Yeah, it's always scary when naturally curious kids ask their uptight, conservative/religious parents about anything sexual.

"And also, we know that kids like to pull pranks," FNC's Gretchen Carlson chimed in. "Can you imagine now, the boys want to go into the girls' bathroom and the girls want to go into the boys' bathroom, and they can just say, 'Oh, well, I was transgender for the moment.'"

Penna Dexter seems to have the same idea.

"'Transgendered' is the term used to describe people who are in some way not satisfied with being male or female," Dexter fantasized. "This dissatisfaction likely will lead to one or more of a broad spectrum of lifestyles, from cross-dressing to varying degrees of sex changes."

But y'see, that's exactly why AB 1266 is a bad law.

"Supporters of the bathroom bill [sic] say it's needed to protect transgendered students from bullying and abuse," Dexter wrote. "But this approach will not protect transgendered kids. Rather, it risks severely harming them."

Anyone who wants to know just why AB 1266 will harm transgendered kids will have to wait for some future installment of Dexter's column, and our guess is that they'll be waiting sometime into the next century. In the meantime, they can read their bible, since it's a sure bet that whatever answer Dexter would give would be taken straight from that book.

By now, you've got a picture of how horrible this new law is... but you haven't heard the worst part.

"It's an outrageous and egregious violation of the privacy and decency for young women and young girls all throughout the state of California," Pacific Justice Institute's Brad Dacus told American Family Association's OneNewsNow. "This new law will even allow boys to play on girl's athletic teams. So this is a serious violation of the fundamental right of young people up and down the state of California."

You don't know how right you are, Brad... but the article's authors, Becky Yeh and Charlie Butts, know exactly where all this is going, even if they can't seem to form their idea into a complete sentence: "All under the guise of providing special rights and protections for children with a gender-identity disorder, and, if a boy wants to molest a girl, he can follow her into a restroom and violate her."

Yep, they just can't wait for those rape statistics to come pouring in! And the article tells you right where to send the "victims"!

"Dacus vows that his legal group intends to defend individuals—particularly young girls and young women—who now face the real possibility of having their privacy rights trampled. "No young person should be expected to have to shower with the opposite sex, much less change in front of the opposite sex," he exclaimed. "This is an outrageous piece of legislation and an outrageous violation of the right to privacy."

Unlike, say, the non-outrageous violations of the rights of women who want an abortion being subjected to scare stories about breast cancer and mental illness, not to mention the several states where she can be forced to allow a doctor to put a metal transvaginal probe into her pussy! (And we can't help but notice that Dacus at least implies that boys seeing a trans person's pussy would apparently not be as "damaging" as a girl seeing a cock.)

And these jackasses are just itching to file a lawsuit against this new law.

"If any child is forced to undergo sharing locker room facilities with the opposite sex, then indeed there are multiple religious liberty groups available that are willing to file suit on their behalf," said Ron Prentice of the (you guessed it) conservative California Family Council. "And frankly, that’s what will be necessary: plaintiffs who say they are suffering injury by this new law."

But the simple truth is, no one has ever been injured by having seen the reproductive organs of a person who didn't have the same "equipment" as the viewer—and that's just one of the insanities that AB 1266 will go a long way to correcting.