50 Shades of Luka?

LOS ANGELES—So when the next therapist writes a tome about the meaning of the mass appeal of 50 Shades of Grey, no matter on which side of the "debate" over the acceptance of bondage-type sex by millions of moms s/he come down, could they please add into the mix their theory on the appeal to women of Luka Magnotta, otherwise known as the Cannibal Man of Montreal?

I mean, okay, it's hardly news that killers—or at least the cute ones—get all the best women. If you're into bad boys, a murderer is pretty much the top of the food chain. But with Magnotta, when we talk about food chain, it isn't figurative. He really will eat you after eating you out!

Remember Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker, as he was affectionately called at the time of his Los Angeles rampage in mid-1980s? He broke into apartments and shot people while they were sleeping. After being apprehended and thrown in jail, where he still awaits his execution, he was also the recipient of attention by hordes of females. One of them, freelance magazine editor Doreen Lioy, who wrote him 75 letters over the years, actually married him in 1996 after he proposed to her. According to Wikipedia, she says she will commit suicide when he is executed.

Who am I to say that's not love?

Can anyone expect that similar expressions of devotion will not be extended to Magnotta, who is just as cute as Ramirez—in a much more boyish way—and has already established a talent for self-promotion and filmmaking that will certainly appeal to this younger, hipper, more media conscious generation?

I could actually envision one of his paramours conspiring to murder someone just so they could also get the death penalty and maybe die alongside their love. This is, of course, a fantasy scenario, since Canada has no death penalty. Oh, well...

My point remains, however. More women than I can even comprehend have a gene that allows them to fall in idiotic love with killers they have never met! Just take a look at the comments of the 21-year-old who started a Magnotta Facebook page, as quoted in an ABC News article.

"I like EVERYTHING about him," Destiny St. Denis said in an email. "He needs to know that there are A LOT of people that care about him. He doesn't have to go through life thinking that no one does. That isn't fair. What he did, is his business! No one is in the position to judge him. I support him because he is a human being who deserves love, respect, and affection just like anyone else."

What he did is his business? He deserves what?

Here's what I think: I think the next time someone starts mouthing off about the evils of porn, and how it degrades women and how it's warping people's minds and ruining society, I'll just remind them that Luka Magnotta is proof positive that lots of women have evolved way past the archaic concept of degradation.

They don't care what the fuck you do. You can cut some poor slob's head off and eat him, for all they care!  If you're cute and you've got mysterious something going on, bring it on, bad boy, bring it on! The rest of the world just doesn't get it.