The Stupidest Anti-Gay Robocall Ever

DES MOINES, IA—Politics being what it is in our fair country, it goes without saying that if you are a candidate for office who happens to be against the promulgation of laws prohibiting gay marriage, you’re going to be the recipient of some pretty nasty last-minute robocalls that try to paint you as the mother of all perverts.

Liz Mathis, the Democratic candidate for a special Senate election in Iowa, learned that the hard way last night, when, according to the Des Moines Register, the following recorded calls were made by an apparently phony group calling itself “Citizens for Honesty and Sound Marriage in Iowa.”

The message said, “Homosexual marriage obviously involves homosexual sex. So before you support Liz Mathis, call her at 319-899-0628 and ask her which homosexual sex acts she endorses.”

For some reason that we cannot fathom, the intended recipients of the call were obviously Iowans who are not aware that you do not have to be married to engage in homosexual sex; thus, the reminder. But because we are convinced that most Iowa Republicans are fully aware that you can be married, or even a family-values Republican politician, and still engage in homosexual sex, we are baffled as to the intent of the ad.

Maybe the group was at an imaginative loss and needed some help thinking up new ways to have gay sex but didn’t have the nerve to leave their own number. Or maybe they thought that putting marriage and sex in the same sentence would in itself discourage the recipients of the call, who we assume were registered Democrats, from voting for anyone.

Of course, the gay-bashers in the state who actually have the nerve to use their names are denouncing the calls, insisting that that they were done by a phony group that may have actually intended to undermine the Republican candidate. They are asking the state attorney general to investigate.

“NOM (National Organization for Marriage) and the Family Leader have been out front advocates for [Republican candidate] Cindy Golding’s election for weeks, because she will help ensure that the voters of Iowa have the opportunity to vote on the definition of marriage in our state,” Bob Vander Plaats, president and CEO of Family Leader, said today in a blog post. “Our involvement in the race is well-known and well-documented. We would never use some phony group to deliver messages that are not only vile, they are bound to backfire.”

In other words, it’s the Republicans who are being targeted by the ads, and not Mathis. "This is a dirty trick that is being played on Ms. Golding, NOM, Family Leader and all legitimate supporters of traditional marriage,” stated Brian Brown, president of NOM, who has clearly had enough. “We demand that the Attorney General find out who is trying to steal this election by the use of dirty tricks like this."

Oh, cruel mendacious world! When will you stop persecuting the anti-gays?!

Photo: Iowa Democrat Liz Mathis and the amusingly offensive robocall that will hopefully get her elected